Living in a city, a moderate sized city like say, oh, Chicago can be a double-edged sword at times. I love all the people and at the same time feel that all the people are too much to deal with. I usually don't talk that much to strangers. Well, correction. I usedto talk to strangers, alot, until I moved to Chicago and then I learned that you can't chat it up with everybody and some caution should be used when approaching unknown folks.
Let's keep the sweeping regional assumptions in check, but I tend to think it was easier to talk to people in the moderate sized town in the South that I used to live in than in Chicago.
Why? People just seemed easier to approach and more willing to connect with other people. In bigger cities, there is a weariness surrounding people. It seems like the prevailing attitude is "What do you really want from me because I know you're not talking to me to be friendly?" And sometimes that's true. But sometimes it is about making that connection.
This week, I can prove both of those points to be true.
A friendly conversation with a stranger while I was eating my lunch Wednesday proved not to be about polite and idle chat but that she really, really, really wanted me to know that Jesus loved me. I wasn't angry or annoyed or even really disgruntled about the subject at hand. Instead what I felt was a small sense of being betrayed. I took a (very small) risk of talking to this stranger I opened myself up in a sense and shared some conversation and time with her and in the end, she just saw me as an opportunity to preach to. She wanted something from me, my soul perhaps, my pledge to love Jesus back, me to listen to her religious fervor. And I indeed, felt weary and hesitant to continue the conversation because she wanted something from me.
Also on that same day, I happened into a conversation with a lady in the bread aisle at a grocery store. She was friendly and full of good advice about avoiding ketchup and other evil condiments and fed up with the trendy carb obsession that permeates everything these days. She told me so much about her life and I deduced that really she was just lonely after experiencing the deaths of her husband and parents and wanted to talk to somebody about anything. Even if that meant smiling politely and seeming interested in water intake and the dangers of barbucue sauce, I was happy to be that somebody for her. She wanted something from me too, but it wasn't religious conversion or spare change or my phone number.
We all need that connection to people, even if we don't know each other, it feels good to realize that in a city of millions we can still take risks with each other and have positive outcomes.
Posted by Suzanne at July 23, 2004 07:29 AM
Wow!
Amazing insight on that whole topic!
I'm living in the south right now, and just thought to myself today: Folks really are friendly here. I love it.
I've learned that it is true, that while visiting up "North" , most folks when approached or even smiled at, assume you want something. Which isn't the case at all times. Sometimes the true Southerner in yourself comes out & you find yourself saying : Bless your heart. Would you like to come back to my house for a mint julip?
Great entry though. I like your site and it's layout!
~Jeanna
Posted by: Jeanna at July 31, 2004 12:21 AM