Something is amiss in the world of processed and packaged foods. Ok, alot is amiss and do we really have time to discuss it all? Quite frankly, no. But while searching for a favourite cheesy snack in the shape of goldfish, I saw some rather disturbing packaging on a different type of cheesy goldfish goodness. Now, being a processed food purist, I go for the traditional "cheddar" or whatever the cheese flavour it is seeking to imitate. I don't need the "flavour blasted" goldfish and I never want to put into my mouth something that advertises itself as "Xplosive." Xplosive? On a label for food? If you are eating some processed or maybe non-processed food please don't read the following, but when I see Xplosive it makes me think of diarhea and, well, that's not what you really want to associate food with is it? Then I think of,well, explosives. Either way it's not pretty.
I chose to forgo the goldfish and found something less chessy and Xplosive to satsify my snacking fulfillments and headed to the checkout line to be greeted by scarier advertisements. Wrigley's has a type of gum, excuse me but the name fails me at the momet, ( must be all those food colourings going to the brain) with two,uhm, interesting flavours. Ladies and Gents, I'd like you to meet "Grapermelon" and "Strappleberry." Oh god, where do I start?Just what is a grapermelon? Could there be such a fruit? Imagine a watermelon crossed with a grape. Strange to look at and I'm sure even stranger to chew in the form of gum. And what the hell is a strappleberry? I love berries, I've even eaten a gooseberry and some other oddly named berries, but a strappleberry?
I'd like to meet the marketing geniuses behind "Xplosive", "Grapermelon", and "Strapleberry" and ask a few questions. Maybe they'll all get together to invent a cheesy,fruity new kind of xplosive strapple-grapermelon- berry gum.Then we could top it with green ketchup and a squirt of pink margarine.
I don't know about you but I'm sticking to the genetically modified produce section.
Posted by Suzanne at May 12, 2004 12:33 PM
I'm glad someone else thinks these things are odd. I was so puzzled about "flavor blasted" goldfish (aren't they already flavored?) and aside from being kind of fun to say, strappleberry and grapermelon are just plain icky (one would think).
Posted by: lacey at May 12, 2004 01:19 PM
Every time I see that "strappleberry" gum, I think of scrapple. Not the most appetizing thing to chew on.
Posted by: Andrew at May 19, 2004 11:33 AM
Guess what? Strapple WAS not Wriggley's great invention. It was mine about 3 years ago... look at my website and you'll see!!! go to my website (www.baybee-bella.cjb.net) and you will see what the REAL Strapple is - just click the link that reads "Strapple"
Posted by: Belinda - THE REAL STRAPPLW CREATOR at May 22, 2004 12:43 AM
Have you tried the "new" fruit - Grapple (the concord-grape-infused fiji apple)?
I'm intrigued but scared.
Posted by: shokufeh at May 24, 2004 07:55 PM