dear fresh direct,
honestly, would it kill you to deliver to brooklyn? it's really not that far from manhattan. in fact, where i live now is just a few miles from where i used to live last year -- you know, the place that you delivered to at least twice a month? remember? those were the good old days. i used to sit at my computer and grocery shop... i would find a good selection of groceries, pay less than i would at the crazy-expensive NYC grocery stores, and then wait for you to bring everything right to my door for only $5. i miss those times. let's bring them back. all you have you to do is drive your truck across one of the many bridges into the BK. i'll be waiting for you here with a hug and a smile. sound good?
i mean, i'm just really freaking tired of dragging myself to the crap-ass grocery stores around here, not finding what i need, paying ridiculous prices for what i can scrounge up, and then having to haul everything back to the house in the cart (in 30-degree weather, no less). it's not fun. in fact, it's maddening. and i can't live without you anymore.
i don't know why you've left me out in the cold like this. wasn't i always good to you? and don't you know that there are hundreds of thousands of people like me who live in the other boroughs and who need your help? you could make so much money off of us. in fact, i'd pay you extra to come out here.
i need you in my life. come back to me.
yours forever,
naseem
so here's the conversation i heard while sitting on the bus the other day:
guy #1: "yeah, she got a fat ass."
guy #2: "really? no. i don't think she got a fat ass."
guy #1: "ok, she got a medium-sized ass."
guy #2: "ok. medium."
guy #3: "yeah, medium."
guy #2: "ok, who else got a nice ass?"
1. my exams start in 1 week.
2. i have 4 exams.
3. i've never had 4 exams in my life.
(even in college when i had five classes each semester, i never had this many exams. in at least one or two of my classes, i always had a paper instead of an exam, or a series of tests instead of an exam. not so now. i have 4 classes, and apparently, 4 classes = 4 exams. greg pointed out that he routinely had 4 or 5 exams in college. i pointed out that he had a real major in college, and therein lies the difference.)
4. each exam will determine my entire grade for the semester in one sitting.
5. i'm not particularly enjoying my life right now.