ok kids, so anyone who knows me knows that i'm a HUGE U2 fan... probably one of the biggest fans ever amongst people my age. they were my first favorite group, and though my musical taste has expanded considerably since i first fell in love with them at 15, they will always always hold a very special place in my heart. i've seen them twice in concert. both times, i skipped town the night before a college exam and drove to another city to see them live--soooo worth it both times. :) the first time, i was on the floor, a few feet away from bono, and it was beyond my ability to describe in words. the second time, i was miles away, but it was still truly exhilirating. what can i say? they're my boys and i absolutely love them.
and yet, i'm wondering what happened with the new album. y'all wanna share some thoughts on it? i've owned "how to dismantle an atomic bomb" for months now (since the day it came out, actually) and for some reason, it's still just not doing it for me. in fact, blasphemous as it may sound, i can't even bring myself to listen to it enough to warm up to it. i guess i'm ok with the first track ("vertigo," which i think is the only radio release thus far), but generally, i find it very lack-luster.
on the whole... listening to the lyrics makes me think bono has finally drained some of his deepest poetic reservoirs, and they run dry throughout the album. hearing the music itself makes me wonder if maybe steve lillywhite, brian eno, flood, and company are feeling kinda crazy these days...? i mean, what were they doing with this one? honestly? i know edge is still a true virtuoso and his guitar skills are forever unmatched, and of course larry and adam are non-issues--they are always excellent on drums and bass, respectively. but somehow, the overall product just leaves me unsatisfied...
could it just be that they've lost their ability to produce true, moving, original music after 25 years? (on a side note, larry is still surprisingly hot these days, even after all these years). :) but seriously... bono pays some impressive lip service to this album, and i daresay it's been effective, considering his ability to speak, to spin, to sell. everyone else seems to like it. and yet, i find myself unfufilled. despite his provocative comments about it being their best album ever and their first real rock album, to me it sounds something like a regurgitation of "under a blood red sky," except...
1. there's a lot more noise and sound effects--all this confuses the auditory output and blankets the genuine musical sound of the band and their instruments
2. the earnest, youthful intensity of those early albums like "blood red sky" is sadly lacking
now, this being my impression of the album, the lesser-quality reproduction of a 20-year old sound just struck me as lamentable.
i find myself wondering why it couldn't just be something fresh and new? one reason i've always loved U2 is because i've respected their ability to reinvent themselves, to not care what anyone thinks, to diversify and experiment, to call an album "achtung baby" and still have it sell millions and millions of copies around the world. hell, i even liked "pop." and i'm one of about 5 people in the world who appreciated "zooropa." i think it has some redeeming features and i take it for what it's worth. so even in the late '90s, when everyone was knocking their game and saying they'd just lost it, i was still loving it and loving them.
of course, when "all that you can't leave behind" came out in 2000, the world rushed to re-embrace them, called it a return to their "original sound" (whatever the hell that means), blah blah blah... of course that album was beautiful, because it still sparked that inner harmony that U2 music has always been able to create inside of me. but i didn't like it because it was a return to anything (i would definitely disagree with those who call it a "joshua tree" remake). i loved it for what it was. i loved that album the same way i loved the rest of them--i loved it because it was U2 being true to themselves and whatever it was they were feeling at the time. because that always makes for beautiful music...
this album, however, strikes me as somewhat disingenous. it's not a reinvention. it's a subversive attempt to please. there's something not very U2 about it... it just doesn't sound real to me. i can't find the beauty in it. it's awkward and just won't fit with me. (if we're going to be trivial for a second, i have to mention the strange "uno, dos, tres... catorce" at the beginning of the first track. wha??). in all seriousness, though, it just doesn't do it for me and i don't know why. are they just different people than they used to be? is their creativity gone? are they tired after a quarter of a century? have they just said everything they wanted to say? are bono's energies now better spent on humanitarian work than in the studio?
or, is it actually a fabulous album and a musical masterpiece and they rest of the world is justified in adoring it and i'm just crazy? what's going on here?! i find myself unsettled. anyone have any thoughts on all this?
this week, at least once a day, i find myself suppressing an exasperated scream. law school financial aid applications have, in many ways, truly sucked the air i breathe. as i fight to keep my head above the choppy waters of the sea of applications, documents, and deadlines (especially those that have passed), i find myself constantly swallowing mouthfuls of confusion, ineptitude, and frustration. so, naturally, my air supply is becoming more scarce...
i know this might all seem melodramatic. but honestly, i can't express how overwhelmed, bewildered, and profoundly disgusted i am. i actually had to go to the house of worship the other day for some intense prayer, just to prevent some major freak out. the wealth of financial aid materials that i've received from so many schools--each stack from each school having its own irritating peculiarities, mind you--has made me feel like such a powerless and incompetent little person in a huge world full of scary finances. and it has completely drained the joy out of being accepted to law schools.
in general, it just seems to me that there is a vast world of money out there that i don't properly understand and that i am far from able to adequately navigate. i know that as i grow older and become more independent, i'll start to figure some stuff out, but i can't help but think that i'll never truly feel comfortable or knowledgable about all this. in some ways, i think that's attributable to having been blessed in life--blessed enough that my parents have always been able and willing to take care of me and my education. i don't think that makes me a brat--perhaps just heretofore a little less acquainted with these processes than others. and like i said, i'm sure i'll figure some of it out as i go along. but, somehow, i think this is about more than just me...
i have this strange feeling that there is a vast and frightening system of money and finance that rules the world... it seems to be characterized by a dizzying amount of structure, complexity, and contingency, and it appears to be designed by an elite few for the express purpose of confusing and oppressing the masses. now, i realize that theoretically, "anyone" can benefit enormously from this system. but with most of us being far less financially savvy than said elite, i can't help but think that the reality of the situation is far different than the theory; the reality being that this oligarchy becomes a contrived but effective tool for the financially inclined to create seats of power and occupy them--especially in materialistic societies.
so, basically, i'm part of the financially disinclined multitude, and i'm at times disoriented and unhappy because of it. right now is one of those times. and i just wonder, at least for now, when i'm not yet a grown-up and i'm still just a resourceless kid, doing an unpaid internship in service to my faith, trying to get my parents to help me figure out my own finances, and trying to freaking go to law school...
couldn't someone (with the power to do so) please just make this easier for me and my fellow prospective students? we're still getting educated, we're still learning about the world, we're still holding on to hope that we can make said world a better place. would it be too much to ask for someone to facilitate that noble process just a little? to make this whole oppressive system of finance a little more palatable? to offer me a little clarity and a little peace of mind so that i can continue to grow up happy?
so i love going to the gym in the morning. especially on sundays. sundays are great because i don't have to pay for a meter, and the gym is relatively empty. this morning, i went to a step class, which was fantastic. i hadn't been to step in quite some time, and i'd forgotten how much i missed it... not only is it a really good workout, but because there's choreography, you use your brain as well as your body, and that's always nice.
also, this morning, i had the added advantage of an '80s flashback. my instructor was dressed like the first generation of aerobics instructors from the early '80s, complete with poofy hair and headband, leggings, and high-top reeboks. and, of course, we stepped to dance remixes of "turn the beat around," "fame," and... that's right, "ghostbusters." where else do you get to do that? yay for sunday morning step class! :)
so, there was another amazing bahai conference this weekend. this one was actually in chicago, and it was on the topic of bahai scholarship, which is at once exciting, overwhelming, and completely encouraging for those dejected at the current plight of humanity. good stuff.
enlightening and engaging as it all may be, however, bahai scholarship is not really the topic of this entry. what i wanted to blog about is this: sometimes i feel like i'm really a dime a dozen. you see, my name, naseem, is waaaaay more common than one might think. among persians, and especially within the persian bahai community, there are some names that are ridiculously overused. mine is one of them. and this weekend i was reminded of that... at times, it can start to feel like i'm just another persian girl named naseem.
i first became aware of this situation when i was 14... i was at a bahai conference and i took a picture with 6 other naseems who were in attendance that weekend. we thought 6 was a lot... but these days, i know about 20 naseems. i'm sure there is a plethora out there with which i remain unacquainted...
spellings vary, of course, but we all suffer from name confusion. and what's worse, many many persians also suffer from this affliction. though our names are rare, strange, and unpronounceable in the average american public school, they are so common in our community that they saturate the social verbage of most bahai conferences and confuse the hell out of anyone trying to tell a story involving any persians. it can be really frustrating--especially for those of us who unwittingly cause all this madness (though it's our parents' fault, of course). but regardless... i somehow feel it's time for us all to get a little creative....
thus, in the interest of reducing confusion and promoting uniqueness in the next generation of children, i suggest my persian peers and i collectively pledge to categorically avoid the following names when deciding what our children will be called for the rest of their lives:
GIRLS
leila
leili
may
mona
nadia
naseem
neda
shirien
BOYS
anis
nabil
nima
omid
sina
p.s. you should all know that i know several people with each of these names, often more than i can count on my hands... in fact i have several cousins with repeats of these names. wow. it's really ridiculous. but i love them all. :)