like a fish needs a bicycle...

this earthly plane

i've been out of touch the last couple of weeks. a lot has happened, and yet not a lot has happened.

i finished exams, came back to texas, hung out with family and friends, and attempted to get some sleep (often unsuccessfully). it has been nice to be back and relax a little bit -- sometimes, it can be really exhausting to live in new york, and it's good to be in a place where i can just get in the car and go to super walmart. of course, i go crazy after a few weeks in such a place, so it works out nicely when winter break ends and i go back to the city. but generally, it's been good to go to weddings, dinner parties, and outings with family and family friends and be surrounded by love and warmth -- it's always so nice to come home. so that about sums up the "not a lot" that has been happening.

the "a lot" that has been happening is that my grandmother passed away at about 3am this morning. i'm so happy for her.

we all drove down to austin to see her last week and say our last goodbyes because we knew the end was near. i've blogged about my grandma before. she's been begging God to take her for years now, because she has been suffering from so many bodily ailments -- she's been in so much pain and has had such a difficult time just trying to exist on this physical plane. and she's been longing to join her sisters who have passed away in the past few years.

and now she is free. she has burst forth from her physical cage and her soul is winging its flight to the next world. i know she is profoundly happy, and i'm happy for her. and she and i are going to be closer now than we ever were before, since age, health, and language -- the barriers that stood between us in this physical world -- have disappeared. now our souls can communicate fully and effortlessly, and she will always be there when i need her.

momony has been such a big part of my life. she lived with us when i was little, which is why i learned to speak persian before i learned to speak english. when i got a bit older and we moved away, she used to come visit us, and she and i would go for walks and tell each other stories. when i was a teenager, and i started looking for my roots, she would tell me about her life in iran, growing up in the village... about how she was the daughter of a well-known doctor in the jewish community, how her jewish family created quite the scandal when they became bahais, and how she married a bahai who had converted from islam -- which was really the ultimate scandal, since back then, jews and muslims never married each other, even if they were all bahais by that point. she had lived for almost a century -- we were never quite sure how old she was, because no one kept track of girls' birthdays when she was born, but we think she was somewhere in her 90s. she had seen two world wars, a revolution in her homeland, the brutal persecution of her people, and the promises of a new life in america. she had seen so much and had such a difficult, beautiful, and interesting life. and she has always loved me and been so sweet and kind to me.

i will miss her, but i'm grateful that, in my faith, i was never taught to be afraid of death. i was raised to view death as an essential step in the life of the soul and to appreciate it -- to never feel sorry for those who have passed,but only to pray that those who are still living can find comfort despite the absence of their loved ones. we grieve for ourselves, because we miss the ones we love. we have no reason to grieve for those who have left this earthly plane and found more joy than we can even imagine.

so now we will come together, we will celebrate her life, we will notice the bits and pieces of her that are in each of us, and we will pray for the progress of her soul through all the worlds of God. and she will be with us always.

O SON OF THE SUPREME!
I have made death a messenger of joy to thee. Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light to shed on thee its splendor. Why dost thou veil thyself therefrom?
~ Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words

O My servants! Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace. To each and every one of them you will, no doubt, attain.
~ Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 329

Posted by naseem at January 2, 2007 12:36 PM