like a fish needs a bicycle...

Preach, sister, PREACH!

You know I agree with you. And you say it so well.

Just correct the spelling of "break" in the first paragraph and I'll be fine. ;)

Hey, a hundred years ago corsets were the norm. I'm going to thank God for the little progress that's been made, and hope that "professional dress" for women in the next hundred years is less painful. I totally feel you on the shoe issue, I usually just compromise with wedge heels.

noted, george. thanks for the heads up. i was very tired when i wrote this. enraged, but tired. :) (i think, also, that greg had been talking about cars -- no surprise -- so "brake" seemed less weird to me at the time).

Ok. I hear you loud and clear. I'm just going to put this out there. You writing about how men are oppressing women with fashion sounds a lot to me like blacks complaining about whites keeping their ancestors as slaves. That may sound a little harsh, as it was meant to be a very over the top comparison. But I will say what I have always said when my black friends have complained about that. It was centuries ago, and there is nothing that I did or will do to oppress you or anyone else in the world. I will also tell you what I have always told them. We all know the problem, what are your ideas for a solution? What can we do, together, as men and women to stop this madness and move forward happily, equally? I would love to hear your suggestions, and of course, most of this comment is half-joking.

Dang. Wow. Gulp.

Definitely, as Jorge said... PREACH IT.

I'm going to wear sweatpants and high-tops to my meeting in Manhattan tomorrow now. It's time to stick it to 'the man'.

OK, I'm not. But it would be awesome. And thank GOD that I don't have to wear heels and panty hose.

OK, maybe the panty hose, just for George. :)-

Oh Steve. You dog.

I hear you, Nas. The good news is that many women have been speaking out on this same issue, and for about a decade now I find just as many cute, fashionable, professional flat shoes as I do high heels. The same goes for beautifully-cut pantsuits. Women are tired, and the fashion industry is finally listening.

Not that a beautifully-cut pantsuit and fashionable flat shoes will make you stand out in a crowd, but it can still earn you the respect you deserve as a professional.

Haha, Amen! Naturalizer has comfortable work shoes if you're still looking :)

By the way, your wedding was gorgeous. Give my best to Greg. :)

as for the need to have the shoes anyway - I second the naturalizer comment. I'm wearing a pair of mine today and not only do they fit me perfectly, but my feet rarely ache in them and never get blisters or bumps.

girl, we gotta go shoe shopping when i visit next month. that's all there is to it! :) you know i don't wear heals. 8th street shoe stores in nyc are my shoe heaven. fo reals. we'll do it. yeah.

ladies, i know y'all feel me. thanks for the suggestions -- though i find that even naturalizer and aerosoles shoes can hurt (especially after you've been wearing them for a while). and steve, i support your decision to wear sweats to work. please send me pictures.

and patrick, i think you raise some very legitimate and compelling concerns. i would make a few points that i think are relevant:

(1) it's my blog, and sometimes i just need to vent. i don't always have a plan of action when i talk about something -- sometimes i'm just expressing my frustration because i find it therapeutic. i think that's one of the purposes of blogs.

(2) you're right that people's ancestors are often responsible for creating conditions that are still in force today (like the legacy of slavery or the fact that women wear heels). so there's no need for whites today to feel directly responsible for slavery or for men today to feel directly responsbile for the oppressive force of women's fashion. i don't think that when people bring up these issues today, it's meant to be an indictment of anyone else who's living today as a cause of these problems.

still, i think it's not only fair, but absolutely necessary to acknowledge the historical roots and societal context of phenomena that we experience today (like current discrimination against blacks or the current discomfort of women's "fashion," though those two phenomena are admittedly of different magnitudes). forgetting the past or refusing to legitimate its influence when dealing with current issues is counterproductive and dangerous. i believe the first step toward making progress in the present and in the future is understanding the past and evaluating it fairly.

so i'm not indicting anyone who's living today -- i'm just trying to point out that all of us living today (men and women alike) are, to some degree, complicit in what's happening now because we continue to let it happen. hopefully, we can change that. but i don't think that's possible until we reasonably evaluate the root causes of these problems.

we can't know where to go from here unless we know how we got here in the first place.

(3) as it happens, venting wasn't the only purpose of this entry. i think sometimes just raising awareness accomplishes something. i think the more people are reading, realizing, and talking about the nonsensical and discriminatory characteristics of pervasive problems (like women in the professional world being forced to wear heels), the more receptive the environment for actually initiating a change. i also think it's kind of impossible to formulate a plan of action until people have started thinking about an issue and talking it over -- consultation is the first step.

so although right now i don't yet have some grand plan of action (beyond wearing flats in the office once i'm past the interviews and i actually have a job), sharing my concerns with others is a start. i can't come up with a useful plan by myself and i certainly can't effect systemic change by myself -- so it's a good start to let people know when i think there's injustice happening, so that we can all start thinking and talking about it, and eventually come up with a plan together. i feel like that was one of the purposes of my blog entry, and also the prupose of the first article that i wrote about this in The American Bahai.

i hope that i can eventually communicate these concerns through other media as well. and when i feel like there's a critical mass of people who care and who want to change things, i'll be more than happy to get involved and start something. and i'll keep you posted.

Nas-

Awesome reply! I was certainly expecting something a little more in the vain of "Patrick , you're an idiot!" I hear all of your points, and was mainly just pushing your buttons a bit. You passed the test! I would hire you, if I was an employer,or currently employed.HAHAHA. I know we dont know each other too well, but that should be remedied soon! Tell Greg I said HI! Hope youre all well.

P

Nas, this is (per usual) a splendid post. You have a knack for weaving your anger and discontent into a work of eloquent protest, and I thank you for that. As you noted above, blogs are sometimes great for venting, but it's nice when the venting leads to productive discussion! yay!

That said, the thing that really hits me, reading this post, is the issue of sexuality. Not to over-emphasize the obvious, but women in our culture are valued in large part for their sexual appeal and vitality, and it's only natural that this perversion of the Truth of the Equality of the Sexes find its way into the workplace (and, therefore, into workplace fashions).

What I want to know is, what can we, as men do to support women, if anything? If you need me to ransack a Nordstrom and start snapping off pump heels, I'm there. You know it.

Andrew, I think that's a loaded question for both genders because it will require a major societal shift in thinking. Simply put, I think we'll have to start viewing each other as spiritual beings rather than material beings, and we know what a task that will be.

However, that's not to say that we individually can't start that. There will still be plenty of sexist people and people who judge thers based on looks, but there will be at least an island of non-judgement out there that we all seek. I dunno, just thinking...

omg. your comment totally made me laugh out loud, andrew. love it! yes, let's go snap off some heels. hehe! sorry... i know there's more of a serious tone to this post, but dang... humor sure can take the edge off. now where did i put my 5-inch stilletos? har har. as if!

Hey Nas,

Thank you for venting and bringing out awareness of this issue...Very important for men to see because honestly most men are ingnorant of these ills and therefore don't see it as such...

A great reference for "What can we do as men" is "Two Wings of a Bird" compiled by the NSA of the U.S.

"Men have an inescapable duty to promote the equality of women. The presumption of superiority by men thwarts the ambition of women and inhibits the creation of an environment in which equality may reign. The destructive effects of inequality prevent men from maturing and developing the qualities necessary to meet the challenges of the new millennium. "As long as women are prevented from attaining their highest possibilities," the Bahá'í Writings state, "so long will men be unable to achieve the greatness which might be theirs."12 It is essential that men engage in a careful, deliberate examination of attitudes, feelings, and behavior deeply rooted in cultural habit, that block the equal participation of women and stifle the growth of men. The willingness of men to take responsibility for equality will create an optimum environment for progress: "When men own the equality of women there will be no need for them to struggle for their rights!"

To brother Patrick:

I would like to suggest this quote from Shoghi Effendi in response to your "comparison" concerning blacks...And would love to hear your comments about it.

"Let the white make a supreme effort in their resolve to contribute their share to the solution of this problem, to abandon once for all their usually inherent and at times subconscious sense of superiority, to correct their tendency towards revealing a patronizing attitude towards the members of the other race, to persuade them through their intimate, spontaneous and informal association with them of the genuineness of their friendship and the sincerity of their intentions, and to master their impatience of any lack of responsiveness on the part of a people who have received, for so long a period, such grievous and slow-healing wounds. Let the Negroes, through a corresponding effort on their part, show by every means in their power the warmth of their response, their readiness to forget the past, and their ability to wipe out every trace of suspicion that may still linger in their hearts and minds. Let neither think that the solution of so vast a problem is a matter that exclusively concerns the other. Let neither think that such a problem can either easily or immediately be resolved. Let neither think that they can wait confidently for the solution of this problem until the initiative has been taken, and the favorable circumstances created, by agencies that stand outside the orbit of their Faith. Let neither think that anything short of genuine love, extreme patience, true humility, consummate tact, sound initiative, mature wisdom, and deliberate, persistent, and prayerful effort, can succeed in blotting out the stain which this patent evil has left on the fair name of their common country."

(Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice, p. 38)

pierre, you rock my world. :)

Pierre, you're the man. I was trying to figure out how to say that, and Shoghi Effendi already said it.