like a fish needs a bicycle...

from the hot country

so i was hoping for a happy post from india. i guess we can’t always get exactly what we want.

it definitely was not the ideal first experience in india. i was supposed to fly to delhi last week, but i started feeling really sick at the airport during my layover in chicago. i felt like i had some kind of stomach flu (which is not uncommon for me, unfortunately). i delayed my flight until a couple of days, and stayed in chicago to rest and recouperate before my trip – everyone gets sick in india, but going to india already sick didn’t seem very wise to me.

i felt pretty decent over the next couple of days, and though i had a little stomach upset on the day of travel, i talked to my family, especially the doctors in my family, and i talked to my doctor -- we all decided i was well enough to go. i boarded my plane and sat through the 14 hour flight almost without incident (except there was this family behind me – possibly the most irritating family in the world – that took up the whole row, spoke unbearably loudly, and tag-team kicked my seat the entire flight, despite innumerable protests from me). i munched on crackers and yogurt and ice, and drank plenty of water, and i thought i would be fine. i was wrong.

an hour before landing i almost passed out. as i laid across the chairs, nauseated and shaking with fever chills, the flight attendants called for medical help, and a nice indian doctor on the plane came to see me and made me start chugging gatorade. they wheel-chaired me to the baggage check, where i met the people from my work, who were also very nice. but they don’t speak english and i don’t speak hindi, so we couldn’t exactly communicate. we waited about an hour for another intern to show up, but she never did, and i was feeling worse and worse, so i asked the guys to take me to a doctor. they called my supervisor and took me to a hospital straight from the airport.

it was all like a bad dream i couldn’t wake up from… late at night, in a foreign country i’d never been to before, feeling like hell, sitting in the back of a jeep and riding the through deserted delhi streets, passing the occasional slummy looking market-type things, not being able to communicate with the driver, finally arriving at a sparsely populated hospital ward in the middle of an isolated foresty-looking area… it was like nothing i could’ve imagined. all i could think was that i wanted to go home.

at the hospital, there was a female doctor on call who took care of me, and she gave me my usual in such situations. like i said, stomach flus/food poisoning are sadly familiar to me, and i’m lamentably well-versed in my usual symptoms and the usual treatment. so i got IV fluids and some IV meds for nausea and vomiting and they sent me home with some pills to pop for the next couple of days.

in retrospect, i think going to the hospital was wise – who knows how i would’ve felt or what might’ve happened if i hadn’t. i’ve been trying to recover since then, and i won’t bore you with the details of the past several days, but suffice it to say that i’ve been feeling better and worse on and off, i’ve been to the doctor once more since then, and i’ve had bloodwork and a urine sample done and everything seems to be normal. i don’t think it’s serious, but i sure feel like hell – especially since i’m just now being initiated into the misery of jet-lag. i didn’t sleep that first night here and i haven’t slept much at all since then. for all my world-traveling, i’ve never experienced insomnia like this before, and it’s really unfortunate that i get to go through it now, when i’m already sick.

fortunately, all the staff and interns here have been very helpful and accommodating and have taken good care of me, i live in a cute air-conditioned flat with a cool roommate, there are some fun interns a few buildings down, and work seems to be very interesting. and i think that i’m finally starting to feel somewhat better. i’ve been praying desperately for days and trying very hard to take care of myself, so i would think it all should’ve started kicking in by now.

what i really want to is to get well and be able to stay here for the rest of the summer and complete my internship. since getting here, i’ve been praying and thinking and consulting with my family about whether i should stay here, or just go home and try to get better. it all hinges on the question of whether i’m actually getting better while i’m here or not, and the answer to that question hasn’t been entirely clear. it’s not really clear now either, but i think i’m starting to get an idea.

the fact is that i’ve been wanting to come to india my whole life, i love the culture and the people of india, the work i will be doing here this summer is exactly what i want to do with my time and exactly the kind of experience i need for my career, and i don’t want to just be defeated and go home regretful – i’m always happier feeling like i’ve survived and thrived and learned from every new situation and test. so i think i’ve tentatively decided to stay. of course, if something significant happens or i suddenly get worse or something, then there is always the option of going home.

but i went to the temple to pray on sunday. it was, of course, wonderful, and i’m glad i finally made it out there. i was slightly sad because, since it was a sunday, and sundays are very busy, there were literally thousands of people literally shuffling through the building constantly. it was really hard for me to sit quietly and pray and meditate with all the heat and noise and movement around me. but i prayed hard anyway. and i think that i’m not feeling anything pulling me home right now or telling me to leave, and this is an experience i need to have. i don't feel well yet, but i feel that i should at least try to stay, and then go home at the end of july, which is when i planned on going home in the first place.

of course, we all know that if you want to make God laugh, you tell him your plans. so i’m aware of the fragility of all my thoughts and plans and conclusions. we never know what’s going to happen. but my mom once said something very wise to me. she said that we as humans only have 3 tools at our disposal when making decisions: prayer, reflection, and consultation. i’ve prayed a lot, i’ve reflected plenty (perhaps more than i should’ve), and i’ve consulted several wise people. i want to stay and i think i should. so i will try. we'll see what happens.

Posted by naseem at June 13, 2006 01:36 AM