meisa's lagoon

i have seen the light, and it is my ass in seven jeans.
you can tell it is "the light" because they put swarovski crystals on the butt pockets so your ass sparkles.
they're only about 200 smackaroos, perfectly reasonable for a sparkly butt i think.
their logo is "seven for all mankind". don't you think all mankind deserves to have glitter butt? but if all of mankind's asses can't glitter, then at least all of mankind can see my ass shine. please donate to my special charity, meisa's crystal ass, to fund the purchase of seven jeans. all donations are tax deductable and proceeds go towards meisa's sparkle butt.

Posted by Meisa at 06:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

i pulled something over break that really clued me into how old i've gotten. i had the fortune of meeting up with family friends that i haven't seen in a very very long time. the adults i'd seen more recently, but the kids, we're talking 15 years maybe? maybe more. i can't even really call them kids, after all, they are about my age--one's in med school, one is in her last year at NYU, and one is a senior in high school. anyway, i looked at the high schooler and, not only did i feel old because he was in high school and last time i saw him he was probably close to diapers, but then i made myself even older by exclaiming in that typical old lady fashion, "oh my gosh, i haven't seen you since you were this big!"

Posted by Meisa at 06:32 PM | Permalink

sometimes, the only emails i get are from doctor dictionary. i get my word of the day, look at it briefly and then catalog it in my "word of the day" mailbox, as though one day i might actually go back and look at it. at the beginning of my relationship with the doctor, i'd take what he had to say to heart, and use his word of the day at least once in my everyday conversation. but now i just read and forget. maybe i would pay more attention to him if the doctor had more interesting words like the one i have recently invented:

pon: abbreviation for tampon.

use it in a sentence: "it's time to change my pon". "honey, will you run out and buy me some pons?" "shoot, i forgot to bring any pons, do you have one?"

spread the word. use it well.

Posted by Meisa at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

apparently every year for homecoming festivities at a high school in texas, the school has "cross-dressing day". but this year, some sort of christian "moral" group raised an objection, stating that this activity promoted homosexuality. so instead, they have replaced it with...get ready for this one...camo day.
naturally, i started screaming and wondered how the hell the commentator just simply slid this in without yelling as well. what is wrong with you people!?!?!?! yes, thanks to that one day a year, stuck in between pajama day and spirit day, everyone who graduates from that high school will be gay. get real already. and to replace it with camo day?!?! right, because promoting war is just so much better.
what has happened to this country?

Posted by Meisa at 05:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

so i made it to cornell, finally...with all my molecules! well, i sent some out last minute on saturday before my plane took off (no joke, i finished a mere few hours before my flight), so those aren't here yet. but my first "business trip" is underway. i took the liberty of booking myself at the fancy statler hotel (one of the nation's top hotel schools, on the cornell campus). pretty swank. i still haven't figured out what the hook above the toilet paper is for. maybe if you have to pee so badly that you wet your pants a little and then finally make it to the toilet in your room. that way you can hang your soiled underwear to dry while you pee?
the hotel is very nice, but it also seems very focused on reminding me that i am alone. i gathered my courage to eat at the restaurant alone for breakfast this morning. my december martha was going to keep me company, but i accidentally left her behind, so i went solo. i was very self conscious the whole time and ate as fast as i could. it didn't help when the server started to pour my non-existant dining partner water, i stopped him saying "oh, don't worry about that. no one is joining me." and then with a sad sad look on his face he kind of whimpered "ohhh". thanks buddy. i really needed you to feel sorry for me. do you know what a big deal this was for me to eat by myself? this was HUGE. i'm still working through my insecurities about this, i don't really need you to point out to me further how sorry i am. and then tonite, i couldn't really deal with eating dinner alone, so i did the room service thing. at the end of my order, the woman asked, "and how many will be eating tonite?" one. that would be JUST me. YES I AM HERE ALONE. I HAVE NO ONE WHO WILL EAT WITH ME. maybe if i broadcast that on the internet, they will get the point.

Posted by Meisa at 08:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

i'm so tired. i've been so tired recently, that i'm even tired of being tired. too much work. i've been pulling the 12 hour plus days for awhile now trying to get ready for my trip out to cornell. my first work trip...very exciting. but with many compounds to synthesize and only 3 more days, all the preparation makes me very tired. i'm going to leave work today in a little while after 13 hours of being in the lab. add that to all the time max has been putting in for my trip as well. he's been here as much, if not more synthesizing like a madman. it's no wonder some call him mad max-o. i'd like to put out a little toast to max...once again, i don't know how i'd be here without you.

Posted by Meisa at 09:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

i took a class in high school called "comparitive religions". not really having a religion to call my own, i was interested to see what other people had to say about their faiths. also, i feel like it's important to know about different religions before you make a choice for yourself. so i took this class. i was pretty excited about it.
i entered the first day of class to find that the well loved football coach, coach kinkaid was going to be "teaching". i really can't remember if we had a textbook or not. i do know that we had quizzes. about one every two weeks. one or two days before the quiz, coach would hand out a worksheet with fill in the blank sentences, in which the blanks were already filled in for us. for example: "Polytheism means to have more than one god." the other questions were about as equally mind-numbing. anyhow, we spent the class period memorizing this worksheet, and the following day we were handed an identical worksheet with the blanks left empty to serve as our quizzes.
the days between the quizzes were spent learning important religious lessons from bart and homer simpson, kevin arnold, paul pfeiffer, winnie cooper, and a handful of actors from various tnt made for tv movies. then every once in awhile on our quizzes, we would have thrown in a question like "abu, the 7-11 worker, was hindu".

Posted by Meisa at 02:45 PM | Permalink

so last nite, in the middle of the nite, i woke up with a huge wedgie. [the reasons i am sharing this will become apparent in a moment] and at 2 in the morning, or whenever it was, i had the *completely rational* thought that this was something i absolutely needed to blog about when i got into work. i remained half awake for probably about 10 minutes or so, during which time i continually patted myself on the back and gave myself kudos for thinking up such a wonderful blog topic.
i see now that this was not the best blog topic. it's kind of gross (not that that has stopped me before) and really doesn't make a good story at all. everyone gets wedgies. mine wasn't particularly remarkable (thankfully...i don't want to know what a remarkable wedgie would be like). well, i decided to listen to myself and go ahead and post about it anyway.

so i woke up with a wedgie last nite. i dislodged the underwear from my butt and went back to sleep. end of story.

Posted by Meisa at 09:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

that's right, we were space rangers. we had laser beams. we kicked ass.

Posted by Meisa at 08:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)