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in case i don't happen to post over the weekend, i wanted to wish the world a happy halloween!! andrea and i have been hard at work on our costumes, which we will wear ALL WEEKEND LONG. EVEN TO BED. but i can't reveal what they are just yet. you'll get a picture after the weekend. i don't know if it will outdo the candy corn of last year, but they are pretty damn good.
i hope the whole weekend is full of spookiness and fun!
i played bob dylan today and it made me think of you.
i thought about how we would all have the country music blaring in the kitchen and there you would sit, quietly in the small room, entertained by your own sounds of npr or bob dylan. i found myself annoyed by both at times, but look at me now, singing along to blowin' in the wind and pledging npr $12.50 a month. i guess he was right...the times, they are a changin'.
i've started several different blog entries today, finding that i was satisfied with none of them. none of the topics were moving me to blog. so instead, i leave you with this tidbit of knowledge...
stagnant urine in your bladder creates bacterial growth
we finally tried the beer can chicken.
the recipe says to shove the half empty beer can up the chicken's butt, balance it on the grill and cook away with the cover on. so we did these things. except we didn't have a cover, so we made an aluminum foil tent. but then we weren't really prepared for the giant grease fire that would envelope the chicken about an hour into the cooking. we doused it with water, but it did nothing but make soggy burnt chicken. yummmmmy!
the aluminum tent and 10 foot high fire might be enough to make you think the experiment was a disaster. you'd be right. we won't be trying this one again. on the other hand, our experimental fried green tomatoes (home-grown) were great!
FROM SEED, BABY!!!!!
cynthia likes to sleep like a mummy.
she lays on her back and crosses her hands over her chest. For good measure, she often places one foot over the other. i guess the egyptians mummified remains for good luck in the afterlife. maybe cynthia does it to have good dreams.
cynthia still believes that a handwritten letter is the most personal way of keeping in touch.
she'll send you emails all the time and call you often, but she'll still claim that she's not good with keeping in touch if she hasn't written you a letter. you can tell how much she likes you by how big she makes her handwriting in letters to you. i happen to know cynthia likes me a lot. either that, or she realizes that i'm on to her secret and doesn't want to make me feel bad.
cynthia is a champion list maker.
she'll make grocery lists, for sure. but then there will be her many to do lists, present giving lists, and my favorite...a list of all her lists.
cynthia is a queen procrastinator.
she'll do anything not to have to do what she's supposed to do. this includes realizing that the mildew on the ceiling of the bathroom is much too much to handle and she can not possibly go on without cleaning it first.
cynthia has a love/hate relationship with holiday candy.
from candy corn to valentine conversation hearts, she gorges then berates herself for gorging. she blames it on the clear glass jar that the candy is in. it beckons to her and she can't control herself.
cynthia is one of my favorite people.
i can't wait for this weekend, when i finally get to share holiday candy with her after a three and a half year hiatus. no one else makes candy corn as much fun to eat as cynthia. we will gorge and then yell at each other for eating too much of the heavenly corn.
dear quiznos,
you suck.
unsincerely,
meisa
meet polly. polly the polymer. she's the white one at the bottom of the flask.
i made her. that's right. I made her. I HAVE CREATED LIFE!!! MWA HA HA!
okay, fine. she's not alive, she's just a copolymer of carbon dioxide and cyclohexene oxide. but she's alive in my heart, alright?
it's time to spill my heart out again.
as i've said before, i have a tough time blogging about a lot of the present, wondering if mac is reading this. i don't want to hurt him anymore than i already have by talking about having moved on. and i haven't really written much about any thoughts i've had about him. but when the thoughts consume my mind the way these have been, sometimes you just have to find someplace to let them out.
everyday, i might even be willing to go so far as to say at least once every waking hour, i have some sort of sad thought about him. not so much anymore thoughts on wonderful times we had and how i miss them. that seems so far gone that it's hard to relive them in memories. but more thoughts about how he is doing without me. i know he is in a lot of pain still, and a lot of that has transformed to anger, but we don't really talk anymore, so i can only guess what he is going through. i keep hoping that he's trying not to focus on the pain and anger and distracting him with whatever may come his way. but as much as i hope these things, every nite, i still close my eyes and think to myself that he is going to bed alone tonite because of me. i imagine him getting home from work everyday to an empty house because of me. i see him making a turkey sandwich and eating it just because he has to fill his stomach with something but doesn't really want to cook, because what good is it cooking for one? i think about him sitting on the couch and watching tv until it is late enough that he can finallly just go to sleep and stop being sad and angry. and i see him shutting off all the lights in the house without having anyone to say goodnite to. again, all my fault. and in the house too, that was supposed to be ours. everytime i flip through a furniture catalog, i no longer picture what i might one day like to have, but about how he is now buying furniture alone for himself to enjoy, alone.
i hope everytime i have one of these horrible thoughts that it is not the case, or maybe if it is right now, that the future has incredible things in store for him. but with all of these hopes come this unbelievable pessimism that is so unlike me, but shrouds me with sadness. i guess it's all part of feeling guilty for what i've done, and feeling guilty for enjoying my life now, at the expense of him being unhappy. i realize that being alone is not a bad thing, and actually, something to embrace strongly a lot of times. but i also realize that his one real dream in life was to have a wife and family. and i ruined that for him.
part of me wants so badly to let go of the guilt and say that it was all for the best. but i think for now, i feel more that i deserve punishment for what i did and this is part of it.
the opening for the toilet is approximately 1 square foot.
the flow of urine out of a female occupies approximately 1 square centimeter.
THEN WHY IS IT SO HARD TO NOT PEE ON THE SEAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
shoehorn haiku
a simple scooped face
you slip my shoe on so well
i love you shoehorn
shoehorn limerick
there once was a plastic shoehorn
it broke, so now i must mourn
for it snapped in two
when i put it in my shoe
now plastic shoehorns i scorn