meisa's lagoon

well, not really. but now i know cause khalid defended yesterday! he passed with flying colors, of course, and even managed to sneak out a signature on the thesis from the bossman which means he'll be able to walk in the june graduation ceremony.

and that isn't all the good news. i got the job!!! they called me the next morning as i was on my way to the airport and told me if my references checked out, the job was mine! so things have moved pretty quickly and i just signed my contract today. it's been really exciting. now we know what kind of place we can afford, we know where we should live and when we'll be going out there.

and wait, the good news doesn't end there. i have a defense datet! the start date of july 10th for the job kind of forced me to get on the ball about scheduling. so we've begun the countdown...40 days till the big D.

everything is happening so fast, it's kind of scary. i've been so immersed in this life for such a long time. it's hard to imagine that it will be ending soon. it's such a strange mix of emotions. i'd say happiness is the biggest...i'm so tired of grad school, of always feeling guilty when i'm not working, of the constant feelings of failure because so many experiments don't work, of always feeling like i'm not doing enough or that i'm not good enough, of smelling so many chemicals and getting holes in all my clothes. i really can't wait to get out of here. i've learned a lot about myself, but i can't really say that i've enjoyed the journey. but, going back to the mix of emotions, there have been many positives about my grad school experience, namely the people i've met and living in this part of the country. it's going to be hard to leave everyone and this place behind. and lastly in the bundle of emotions, i'm scared. i don't know what to even think when they start talking about retirement plans - this is a real job! i've never had one before and it scares the crap out of me. what if i don't like it? what if they don't like me? what if i'm really bad at it? also, everyone says i'll love san francisco, but what if i don't make any friends? i don't know anyone out there. it's so easy to make friends at when you are in school and surrounded by people your age.

overall, i think it will be okay. better than okay, great even. i'm excited too that khalid will be with me every step of the way and that we get to make this next journey in our lives together.