meisa's lagoon

MAN! feeling utter frustration right now.
there is a job i really really really (can i say that one more time?) really want. i thought i had the inside scoop on its existence and that no one else in my department was really aware of it. i've been working on my secret project resume for it and thinking about it ALL THE TIME. i think about it so much it keeps me up at night. now granted, it isn't the ideal situation, it's in the wrong place (in chicago), at the wrong time (before i'm quite ready to graduate), but i figured if i was offered the position, i would deal with the problems associated with it. so anyway, i'm perfect for this job and i can't even express how badly i want it.
so then i get this email on friday sent out to a handful of northwestern grad students who are all on some sort of grant telling us about the job. and i was all like, dammit, i already knew about this, we don't need to be broadcasting it to all these people! this job is sooooo cool that i'm sure anyone who hears about it will want to apply. i don't need this competition!! and then today...today it got worse. an email went out to the ENTIRE DEPARTMENT about the job. my chances are getting slimmer and slimmer!!!!!