meisa's lagoon

so i made it to cornell, finally...with all my molecules! well, i sent some out last minute on saturday before my plane took off (no joke, i finished a mere few hours before my flight), so those aren't here yet. but my first "business trip" is underway. i took the liberty of booking myself at the fancy statler hotel (one of the nation's top hotel schools, on the cornell campus). pretty swank. i still haven't figured out what the hook above the toilet paper is for. maybe if you have to pee so badly that you wet your pants a little and then finally make it to the toilet in your room. that way you can hang your soiled underwear to dry while you pee?
the hotel is very nice, but it also seems very focused on reminding me that i am alone. i gathered my courage to eat at the restaurant alone for breakfast this morning. my december martha was going to keep me company, but i accidentally left her behind, so i went solo. i was very self conscious the whole time and ate as fast as i could. it didn't help when the server started to pour my non-existant dining partner water, i stopped him saying "oh, don't worry about that. no one is joining me." and then with a sad sad look on his face he kind of whimpered "ohhh". thanks buddy. i really needed you to feel sorry for me. do you know what a big deal this was for me to eat by myself? this was HUGE. i'm still working through my insecurities about this, i don't really need you to point out to me further how sorry i am. and then tonite, i couldn't really deal with eating dinner alone, so i did the room service thing. at the end of my order, the woman asked, "and how many will be eating tonite?" one. that would be JUST me. YES I AM HERE ALONE. I HAVE NO ONE WHO WILL EAT WITH ME. maybe if i broadcast that on the internet, they will get the point.