meisa's lagoon

it's rare for me to be able to trace a fear back to a particular moment. like the irrational fear i get every once in awhile as i'm driving under an overpass that suddenly it's going to collapse on top of my car. where did that come from? or a fear from my childhood that someone was going to rob the 7-11 as my father was inside buying milk. i've never witnessed an overpass collapsing or anyone robbing a convenience store. but i was afraid nonetheless.
but my fear of storms i can trace back to a particular moment in my childhood. i remember i was in new orleans one summer visiting the fam. as with all summertimes in new orleans, there are many quick passing thunderstorms. i never really liked them, but they never scared the sh_t out of me like they do now. anyway, during one particular storm, we passed by an old man's house that had just been hit by lightening, and i saw it burning, or rather the remains of it. and from that moment, i've been terrified.
so how does this relate to my life now? well, i'm dog sitting. in the middle of nowhere, about an hour from my apartment in evanston. lucky for me, this 10 days of dogsitting seems to have coincided with the universe deciding to attack the midwest with incredibly severe thunderstorms and tornados. so there i am alone in a strange house with two animals i barely know, an hour from my comfort zone, with a surrounding vista so flat that i can see lightening that probably touched down in iowa.
so friday evening, i heard these strange wailing noises and watched as the sky became completely black. after making a call or two, i learned that what i was hearing was tornado sirens. i frantically turned on the tv and learned that i was under a tornado warning. not a watch, but a warning. the kind where they tell you to seek shelter immediately. i really didn't know what to do. drive away? hide in a closet? sit there? so what i ended up doing was obsessively watching the weather channel (which i decided sucks) and talking to khalid and andrea for 3 hours until the storm passed. i don't think i've ever been so scared in my life. every part of me was shaking. my butt was chattering.
the next nite, khalid and his brother came with me, as they were predicting more tornadoes that evening. and of course, nothing happened. that is, until the following nite when i was back alone, and the tornado sirens went off again. this time i piled the dogs into their owners' truck and fled to a house of the owners' friends. i hung out there with these very nice strangers for about an hour until it seemed safe again and then headed back home.
i'm hoping for a break tonite. we'll see what happens. i really don't think i can take much more butt chattering.