Let me relay to you all an analogy. Keep in mind that I am somewhat altered at the moment, so bear with me. You know middle school, right (that would be 6th-8th grades): 6th grade you are just starting out and everything is scary and big and new, 7th grade you're workin' your way up, and in 8th grade you're at the top. In 8th grade, you know all the teachers, you know all the tricks, you know EVERYTHING. You rule the school! Then what happens? You graduate from 8th grade and go to HIGH SCHOOL where you're on the bottom rung of the most socially difficult ladder of your young life. You know nothing, you know nobody, and everyone around you is changing. Or rather, you are changing, and thus, everything around you is changing.
Right now I feel like I'm in the last 5 days of my 8th grade career, about to head off to the mysterious high school. I'm about to go into completely uncharted territory. There's no way I can practice for this. I'm going to "graduate" and then all of a sudden be back on the bottom rung. There's really nothing I can do except savor the final moments of singledom I have right now. Not that I expect my life to end or anything, but it will definitely be altered after marriage. The only boy drama I'll have is with my husband! After Saturday, I will wake up next to this wonderful man nearly every day for the rest of my life. His stuff will be my stuff and my stuff will be his stuff and it will be "our" stuff. "My" apartment is "our" apartment. Everything is no longer mine it's ours.
I started this entry wanting to talk about my bridal shower yesterday but I got sidetracked going on about how my life is going to change. I've seriously lost all ability to focus on anything. Blah.
I go on and on a lot about how wonderful everything is in my life and I know there are some of you out there that want to gag yourselves when you read my happy blog. But the fact of the matter is that my life is good, and yours probably is too, it's all in how you look at it. That being said, my bridal shower yesterday surpassed every expectation I ever had about what *my* shower would be like. I'm sad that it seemed like the whole thing flew by because it was such a meaningful event to me. I learned yesterday why it is so important for women to have bridal showers: it's a chance for bonding with your closest girlfriends. It's an opportunity for married, single, old, and new friends to come and surround you with their wisdom and love from their own experiences. It's kind of like this is the first step in my "graduation." I feel so supported and loved and...awed really by the girlfriends in my life.
The booty was unbelievable (as one would expect..heh heh) but I think out of everything that was given to me (see title of this entry to adequately express my feelings right now) my favorite thing was this book of "adivce" that was passed around to all the girls who attended. Each person put her bit of wisdom in the book. Not everyone was able to give marriage advice of course, but I could seriously tell that everyone sincerely gave me their best advice. And what that meant to me, I can't exactly adequately convey. All I know is that when I was reading this book at 1am, I wept at the words my friends gave to me. It seemed nearly sacrificial in nature because what some people wrote was so deeply honest and sincere I can't help but wonder if they felt vulnerable after they wrote it. That, dear friends, is not an easy thing to do for anyone, let alone multiple people in one place.
I love blogs because I'm going to look back at this entry in about 6 months and be glad that I documented how I'm feeling right now. So to all my amazing friends, present at the shower or not: I truly love you and you have made me who I am. It's because you have helped weave the fabric of my character that I'm not sure exactly how to say "thank you," but please know that if I could properly say it the way I mean it, I would. Much love to you all.
Posted by Lacey, August 01, 2005 04:39 PM
Comments
you are so loved... indeed. and it only gets better from here! can you imagine?!?
Posted by: delara on August 1, 2005 04:50 PMour pleasure, love. :) you're always welcome.
Posted by: nas on August 1, 2005 04:52 PMAwww, you got me all teary. Sounds and looks like it was a nice time. Since I wasn't there to write it down, I'll share here with you some advice that was given to us a couple of years ago:
This man, whom we had just met, turned to me and said to serve Sam to the best of my ability. As I was starting to feel a little put off (thinking he was kind of sexist), he then turned to Sam and said the same thing to him - to serve me to the best of his ability. This advice, as simple as it seems, has helped me, especially at those times when I'm faced with the mundane, like when I feel too tired to wash the dishes and Sam has fallen asleep - I think about how it's usually Sam that washes the dishes and it's just a little service I can perform that will save him some work in the morning.
Don't know if I explained that very well.
Lacey: Seriously, one of the most amazing, happiest showers I've ever been to! I definitely had a blast.
Shokufeh: You explained that perfectly! I think that is the best advice I've heard yet. :-)
Posted by: Sholeh on August 1, 2005 06:53 PMhey girl. i'm so happy for you! i remember you telling me on the phone that you wouldn't be getting married so soon, but i could tell you were serious about this guy (and that your parents would be happy to give you permission). i would equate that phase as more the end of high school going to college. you know things are about to change, but you don't have any idea what it will be like... yet, the memories you will make there will be in your heart forever. i don't believe there is a "bottom rung" in marriage. it's more like a clean slate.
best wishes for your future! i'm sure you'll love every minute of it.
h
oh yeah... good comments! they've inspired me to chime in (which you know i usually don't) about serving each other. a very wise and experienced husband shared with me how important it is for he and his wife to continually care for that "third and subtle entity" that is their marriage with tenderness and gentle love, even when they can't stand being around each other or completely disagree about something. the passion with which he shared this really moved me. and it is so true.
Posted by: delara on August 1, 2005 10:17 PMi'm sorry i missed the shower. and myk's birthday. and everything recently. but i will absolutely see you on saturday, my dear!
Posted by: kari on August 3, 2005 03:28 PMYay! I'm happy I will see you Sat. You are forgiven for your absense because that video you helped those kids make was PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! THey did such a good job. You are an awesome leader, Kari!!!!!!! :)
Posted by: Lacey on August 3, 2005 04:51 PMPost a comment