I'm eating one of these. Let's hope it works.
It's likely partially an influence of hormones, but I'm feeling the stress.
Yesterday, we met with a contractor. The house we're trying to buy is gutted (as are many of the houses on the market here these days). Exciting because we get to make it more of what we want. Stressful, because, oh my gosh, there are so many decisions to make. For him to give us an estimate, we need to make decisions about flooring and appliances and fixtures and cabinetry. And we're racing the clock, since we need to get the estimate to get the financing in order by the deadline on our contract with the sellers. Last night, we went to look at appliances. I thought I get overwhelmed by all the toothpaste choices. Doesn't hold a candle to all the fridge choices, especially when I can't easily see why one fridge costs $800 more than another. I go back and forth between stainless steel and white appliances. No black ones for me. I lean towards white cabinetry because I feel it has a timeless quality and I don't want to feel like my kitchen's out of style five years from now. But I don't want a kitchen that's overly white. Then again, stainless steel appliances are more expensive, and are a bit trendy. So now I'm considering mixing up the cabinetry with wood finish and white finish. And then there's the issue of the floor. I lean toward white with blue.
These are the things that Meisa will be involved in this weekend. It wasn't the original plan when she made reservations to come here. But, as I said, we're in a time crunch. And it's good to have another opinion. Especially from someone with a good sense of design. Cousin, I'm sorry I have not yet made up the bed for you or tidied up the house. It is obvious that I have no taarof. But I guess that's because I feel close to you. (Consider yourself lucky: Bahiyyih, who is also like a member of the family, and who sometimes spends the night, was getting shocked in the shower for a while. I was too, but didn't realize what was happening - I just thought my hand was going numb. That's all solved now.)
I'm starting to feel less stressed, just typing about these things. Though there is one more thing that's causing some angst. The boy. MrMan is really struggling with the change in teacher. He sobs every morning as we go down the hall to his classroom. I don't want to be the high-maintenance parent, but I don't know if this change is the right thing for him. Also related to him is that I'm developing a complex that he doesn't like me. I'm his mother, so I know he loves me, but lately he wants nothing to do with me. It's all about "D." The unfortunate thing is that I react. I still take adequate care of him, but I don't make the effort to bond with him because I feel like he doesn't really want to be with me. I think I'm not explaining this very well, and probably come across as a petty mom, but.... I guess it's a combination of not wanting to force him to spend time with me if he doesn't want to, and protecting myself emotionally. I'll have to get it together, if I'm ever going to make it through his teen years.
Dear Companies,
Why must you scent everything?
Overloaded,
shokufeh
It's weird that my last and next-to-last flickr pictures have flipped spots in my sidebar here. The other three are in the "right" order. I don't think I've seen this before. I will have to see if this holds true when I upload more pictures.
Sarah tagged me ages ago. (Funny, how the concept of "ages" has evolved, since in the big scheme, two weeks isn't that long. But it seems like it in this day of instant communication.) I finally deliver.
1) I have only 26 teeth. The other six have been removed.
2) My second toes are longer than my halluces.
3) I just learned that fancy word for the purpose of making this list.
4) My first language was Persian. Despite the fact that my mother is American.
5) I get annoyed by people who, when I refer to speaking Persian, say, "Oh, you mean Farsi?" My impression is that they think saying such makes them seem cultured, when it's really like saying, "Oh, you mean Espanol?" or, "Oh, you mean Deutsch?"
6) I do almost all of my grocery shopping at Whole Foods. Sometimes I feel compelled to justify that, but it will have to wait for another entry.
7) I think it's totally lame that NFL players are complaining about not getting disability benefits. They knew what they were getting themselves into: no one bills football as a gentle sport. And they were handsomely rewarded for their time on the field.
Since I've waited so long, I won't tag any else. Unless you're one of the few who hasn't done this, and is interested in doing so. Leave a comment so I can read your randomness.
I just wrote a long entry, my first in almost two weeks. Then things crashed and I lost it. Grrr.
Short of it -
I started my job a week ago yesterday. I like it. My boss, on my first day of work, encouraged me to have another baby. My parents are in Europe. Anis is competing in the International Poetry Slam and has just advanced to the semifinals. MrMan's been whining a lot. They switched him to a different class last week. I hope he gets over it. I hope I get over it. I like having just my little family at home. We're trying to buy a house.
Grrr.
Okay, my last entry about it this week.
A side effect of having watched 23 episodes of Heroes in two weeks is that, every time I say or hear the word "previously," I am compelled to say, somewhat under my breath, "Previously on Heroes." While seeing, in my mind's eye, the word written in white, followed by ellipses, on a dark background.
Even though I haven't been watching it every day, Heroes has consumed much of my focus for the past couple of weeks. Awake and asleep. But I have finally finished watching Volume 1. I had to combine it with internet surfing at times, because I would get so nervous that I had to press pause. Now my energies can be directed elsewhere, in this last week before I start my new job. Just in case I wasn't worried enough about how I'm going to balance work and family, now I have to add Heroes to the mix. Maybe I'll have a stronger hang of things by the time the next volume starts.
My current fictional crush? Peter Petrelli. Who's yours?
When will I be at peace that I've totally fallen off the wagon in regards to letters to my child? I come across bits of paper and post-its, where I, at some point, jotted down things to include in the letter of the month. Several months, I've started writing a letter. But at some point, before I start writing, or while writing, I grow overwhelmed by trying to document the changes. The multitudinous changes, the nuances, that are part of him. And with each month that passes, it grow a little harder to capture him in words.
Yesterday, when I picked MrMan up from school, I stopped in the office to sign him out. And the teenaged son of one of the staff members asked me if I was MrMan's mom. When I said yes, he responded with, "MrMan's cool!" I've got a cool kid! A not-even-two-year-old cool kid! And in the eyes of a teenager. He's definitely his own person when people, people I don't even know, deem him cool.
MrMan was playing with his classmates and when I showed up, he introduced me to them. By name. I could decipher only one, but I just thought it was so sweet that he pointed to each, and said something different (if unintelligible) for each one. On our way out the door, we passed the maintenance man, and MrMan said his name. That one was easy and understood, and I learned something new, as I hadn't known the man's name until then. Today, he introduced me to a boy who hadn't been there yesterday. Yes, my heart flutters at my son's social skills.
Just in case I haven't yet proven his mental acuity.... Yesterday, I pulled out some stuffed animals MrMan's had for some time, but hadn't yet seen. I'm sure you all have that stash of toys that you hold back for later. One of the stuffed animals was a dog, from "Are You My Mother?" By P.D. Eastman, who is also the author of MrMan's current fave, "Go, Dog. Go!" (Which he requests by name at least once a day. It sounds kind of like "yellow.") As soon as MrMan saw the stuffed dog, he exclaimed "Go, Dog. Go!"