After days and days of grey, rain, and/or cold, yesterday and today were beautiful. Which means bizarre swarms of mosquitoes. But why focus on the negative? Which meant trips to the park for me and MrMan. Climbing, sliding, running, staring at other kids, stealing other kids' soccer balls, watching his new favorite animal - ducks, spotting his long-time favorite animal - dogs, and even seeing horses, which aren't too far down on the list either (and allowed me to distract him toward the car). I love going to the playground after a long interim, seeing how much MrMan's interaction with the equipment and the other kids has changed since the last time.
Today's trip to the park happened to coincide with the release of kids from nearby elementary schools, so the playground was a lot busier than yesterday, with older kids. But MrMan wasn't daunted. I, on the other hand, wasn't quite sure what to do: one boy, probably about five years old, showed up with his dad. And his gun. A big plastic machine gun. I tensed as soon as I saw it. Not because I thought it was real, but because of the violence it symbolized.
I know parents are different as to what they will and will not allow, what they encourage. But encouraging violence is so very foreign to me. Especially in this city where, a couple of weeks ago, MrMan and I joined several thousand others in marching to City Hall to rally against the violence. The violence that left a person dead every day for the first nine days of the year.
I thought about asking the father to put the gun away. ("Excuse me, do you think that your son, the one with the Holy Name of Jesus sweatshirt on, could leave his firearm at home next time?") I was trying to figure out for myself what I would do if the boy pointed the gun at MrMan. Thankfully, it didn't come to that. A gaggle of six to eight year old boys arrived and they took turns passing the gun back and forth to shoot one another as they ran around. Cooperation in murder. I've heard that, no matter how you try to protect them from the concept of guns, kids will pretend to shoot one another. And maybe I can't protect MrMan from that. But I feel I should try. I wonder if this situation arises again, I might leave the playground. I don't know.
Posted by Shokufeh at January 26, 2007 06:03 PMi know guys my age who still play with big plastic machine guns. ^_^ its just one of those things guys do. i say just let kids enjoy themselves and have fun. and as he grows up, teach him the difference between fake violence and real. it'll be fine.
Posted by: ryan at January 29, 2007 01:30 AMmmm i am with you shokufeh he doesn't need to be exposed to violence at such an early age and in the form of "play"
Posted by: Linda at January 29, 2007 03:02 PMCurious: Did MrMan take notice of the boys?
I'm with you completely, and then some. No guns, period, the end. The line between pretend and real is (at best) blurry for kids. Why make them comfortable with the idea of pointing a weapon ("fake" or not) and shooting? We know that access to video games that involve warplay desensitize children to violence. It's one thing to teach a child gun safety within the auspices of hunting. But bringing a gun to a *playground*... what message does that send?
All that said, my Mom-in-law showed me that Dr. Spock (who once was completely anti-gun) now encourages the limited use of guns in play as part of "hero play" that allow children to build confidence in their abilities to be "heros." I don't know how much I buy it... aren't there other ways to feel like a hero?... but he has a whole chapter on it in his most recent version of his child-rearing book.
And with all THAT said (can you tell I'm a parent who is deeply invested?) Will is discovering guns (he calls them "shooters") and "canons" within the context of his love of pirates (read: Disney movies) and with this exposure to other kids (read: the kid at University Montessori who brought toy weapons to school.) He began making swords out of legos months ago (imagine my horror when he presented me with two lego swords!!) This morning, he pointed part of a fence to a farmyard at his sister and made "shooting" sounds (after which we had a serious talk.) This is same child, who, at the age of 2 one year ago, would simply walk away from any rough-housing or gun play that other children were engaged in (this type of play was really popular in Peru and the older kids Will played with regularly were always involved in this way).
I could go on and on with this, but thought I'd just share a little...
Posted by: Holly at January 29, 2007 03:28 PMI completely agree with you. Kids are so desensitized to violence (in all its forms) these days that "fake" or "all in fun" or not, I wouldn't want my child playing with or exposed to a toy gun. Period.
Posted by: kristi at January 30, 2007 09:01 AM