I've gotten myself into a jam. A pickle. Some sort of food item. (Speaking of food items, I made trifle today. One with raspberries and peaches. Only once I was making it did I think about the fact that most kids don't like their foods mixed together. And trifle is food mixed together. My mid-making thought was spot on. Good thing I put aside some plain pudding and same plain jello for said kid guests. But I digress.)
This problem is of my own making. For the first months of MrMan's life, he slept in a mini cosleeper, attached to my side of the bed. It was a great situation. THEN, in February, I went back to work for a couple of weeks. I was more tired, and tended not to put him back in the cosleeper between his nursing sessions. And, to be honest, being apart from him all day made me want to snuggle with him more at night. THEN we came to New Orleans. Our first few nights, it seemed so cold and we thought he needed more body heat. And everything was so new, it seemed something should be familiar. So, MrMan slept between me and Sam (who stayed for a couple of nights before returning to Honolulu). THEN, it still seemed chilly, and with Sam gone there was plenty of space. And, since I was acting as a single parent, it seemed so much easier to have him next to me for nursing, than to actually sit up and lift him out of the cosleeper. THEN, it had became the habit for him to sleep with me. And, once he could sit up, and pull himself to a standing position, the cosleeper was no longer an option.
So, here we are. In many ways, I'm okay with his sleeping with me. It's comfortable and feels right. He sleeps through the night, waking only to eat, and even lets me sleep relatively late. And even though I'm writing about this, I don't feel like it's a real problem. But... he can now crawl all around the bed, so safety is becoming an issue. And the bed is full-size: once Sam comes in a month, that full will have a whole new meaning.
We've been attempting transitioning him to his crib, with limited success. It just really freaks him out. But I persevere. As I see it, I don't have many choices.
1) Put rails on my bed. Not too psyched about that, as he can stand up against them, creating another safety hazard. And we'd still have the issue of a tight squeeze once our family is reunited.
2) Buy a bigger bed. While I'd love the bed, we just don't have the money right now.
3) Put him in his crib and close the door. I know it works for some people, but I'm not one of them.
4) Continue putting him in his crib at night, soothing him through the tears, taking him out if his crying becomes hysterical or interferes with his breathing. (Tonight, he sat himself up once his nose became too stuffed from crying.) But part of what makes me perservere is that he, for the most part, is quite passive in his protesting - he sobs it up good, but doesn't usually physically struggle.
5) Order Dr. Sears' The Baby Book, in hopes that it will contain some magic nugget. I've read a couple of other parenting/sleep books, but it's hard to take advice from someone if you don't agree with their overall parenting philosophies. I suspect I (mostly) agree with his.
For now, I choose options 4 and 5. And next kid around, I'll stick with the cosleeper until it's time for the crib.
Posted by Shokufeh at July 7, 2006 12:12 AMHi Shokufeh. I'm a friend of Lacey's and saw your blog. I've discovered a great sleep solution that really works well and it humane: http://www.sleeplady.com/
We did the whole cry it out thing for our first and were wiser with our second and made up our own sleep solution. Anyway, then I heard about the sleep lady and it was exactly what we had done only she's making tons of money off of it.
I hope it helps!
Mouzhan
Posted by: Mouzhan at July 7, 2006 09:49 AMOur friends and neighbors have a three year old now. They did the co-sleeping thing for a long time, then they just held her while she fell asleep and put her to bed, but now they're trying to wean her into sleeping in her own bed and they're having a hard time. They wish they'd started sooner, but her crying and "hold me" broke their hearts.
I wish you luck on this journey. I've heard the cries and can only imagine how much it must break your heart. I hav faith that you'll make it through this struggle and your family will be happy and sleep well. Until then, a virtual hug.
Posted by: Cinnamon at July 7, 2006 11:48 AMOh, man, visions of my future! Harper sleeps in a co-sleeper, too, except after his early-morning feed, after which he snuggles in bed with me. And a few nights, when I've been too tired to soothe him enough to put him in the co-sleeper and I knew he'd fall right asleep cuddling with me. And several naptimes, where we've slept together on top of the sheets. Byrne worries about me making this a habit, but I treasure those times so much and honestly, I've felt like there's no way I am making habits for Harper at 2 1/2 months old. Now I see how easily 2 1/2 months could turn into a year.
BTW, the Searses have a Sleep Book. I haven't read it, but the Baby Book is always so helpful that I am thinking of picking it up.
Posted by: Arin at July 7, 2006 05:40 PMsob...sob...sob. I'm sorry Im not there.
BTW Kudos on the trifle.Must have been delicious. What kids? I to I?
Mom
Good luck - I think you can find options online - but only YOU know what will work best.
Posted by: bethanie at July 8, 2006 09:58 PMAnd the kid guests thank you! Especially a certain little boy who had both jello and pudding (separately).
You know, our kids slept with us for the first 18 months or so. Transitioning them into their own beds wasn't really a problem - a few fussy nights and then done. Of course, the girls still sleep in the same bed every night, even though Truly has her own room (soon to be Emily's!).
Posted by: Julia at July 10, 2006 12:50 PMIt took me a little while to transition Lexi into her crib too. I started off with naps in there.
Posted by: Frackle Face Girl at July 11, 2006 08:07 AMDr. Sears recommends co-sleeping and really believes in it. I wanted to co-sleep, but was persuaded by my family and James not to. However, Olivia only sleep in her bed until after her first feeding, then she comes to bed with me for a few hours. I actually like the idea of co-sleeping, but if safety is an issue, I can see why you're worried.
Posted by: Hannah at July 12, 2006 12:33 AMOh, this post made me laugh out loud. My oldest is now five and my youngest is two and a half. With both, I tried the co-sleeper and went through the same experiences you are going through. I started to think they'd NEVER get out of my bed. At one point, it was both my sons in the middle, my husband being a bed hog, spread-eagled on one side, and me hanging off the other side. I'd end up giving up and going to sleep in the toddler bed...and wake up appropriately cranky in the morning. I figured they'd sleep on their own when they were ready and as long as I knew I was still nudging them in that direction, I figured I'd stop stressing out over it. You do what you need to do!
Posted by: Liz at July 15, 2006 08:40 PM