Physically, I am a small person. However, in general, I don't feel small. Except when I get calls like the one I just got - someone called to point out a mistake I'd made, and did it in such a way that I hung up feeling sad and angry. And small.
One of my less charming characteristics is my ability to belittle people, a power I try not to use. Sometimes I fail. And I recognize when I've failed. I wonder if the person who called recognizes that they made me feel small.
Posted by Shokufeh at October 4, 2004 06:39 PMI'm sorry. :-( I always feel small when people criticize me. In fact, I am a little over-sensitive-- something I am trying to work on.
Posted by: Hannah at October 4, 2004 07:43 PMi hear ya, Shokufeh. i, too, never feel small. and i generally forget that i look young. and then someone will point it out - like these two middle-aged women in evanston the other day, who appeared to have more than just a little decorum . we were both stopped at the same stoplight. i was blissfully enjoying the moment and my music when i noticed they were staring at me. i smiled at them and they said "you look like you're about 12." somehow i found the... balls?... to look back and say "okay. but, i'm obviously not 12" and i motioned towards the steering wheel to point out that a 12 year old would not be driving. they laughed at me like they were in high school. i guess i'd rather look 12 than act it!
Posted by: kari at October 5, 2004 11:27 AMwow - kari, that sucks! i am continually amazed at the number of people who act like immature teenagers - giggling and acting stupid by making fun (in some way) of others.
and shok - while giving constructive criticism is always a helpful thing when done with sensitivity, there's no excuse for treating someone in a way that leaves them feeling small. yuck. you want me to take care of them for you? i know people, you know. he he! (kidding, of course, lest anyone fear i might actually put a hit out on someone.) and on a brighter note, i'm happy your blog is letting me post comments again!!!!!
Posted by: delara at October 8, 2004 04:32 PMShow me the way. If I could, I'd come and take care of them for pouncing on my little girl.
Posted by: teri-mom at October 10, 2004 07:35 PMthanks, Delara. somehow i'm developing quite an ego, which helps in situations like that. while my mind doesn't always think of the best response quickly enough, i'm at least at a point where i just say to myself "what is wrong with them?" very different than my normal "something's wrong me." hopefully, some day i'll fall comfortably somewhere in the middle. but the current egomania is pretty fun.
Posted by: kari at October 11, 2004 10:59 AMGo, Kari! I think in some situations, ego is quite appropriate - don't look for the middle ground. You're entitled to be treated well.
If it happens again, I know who to call - Delara and my Mom.
I hear you on the over-sensitivity issue, Hannah. But isn't it interesting that those who are "under-sensitive" are admired? Seems like an imbalance.
Posted by: shokufeh at October 11, 2004 10:52 PM