delara, interrupted

whirlwind

It is rare that I am speechless. Truly, I do not know what to say at this time. Everything is topsy-turvy. Chaotic. Unknown. And, quite frankly, I do not feel like talking about it. Any of it.

For now, I will simply say that Europe was beautiful--complex. I completely fell in love with Venice and hope beyond hope that one day I might either live there or be able to stay there for long periods of time. My soul felt more alive there than it has in a VERY long time.

There is lots to do, lots to post to Flickr, lots to share. Enjoy this teaser--a view of the beautiful Tuscany countryside.

europa!

Leaving today for Europe! Catch ya on the flipside!

the magnificent seven

One of my dearest, sweetest friends--who lives very far away geographically and whose son I haven't met yet even though I love him so deeply-- just posted seven magnificent videos of family fun times to flickr. The self-loving side of me would like to think it was in response to a humble request for "more videos, please" that I made via email. But truly, it matters not. What DOES matter is that those little gems brought joy to my heart, lightness to my body, and a HUGE smile to my face! Which, all things considered these days, is quite a feat.

So, thank you, dear heart, for spreading the love. You are such an inspiration to me, and I'll bet you don't even know it. Thank you a hundred times for the sweet gift you have given me today!

i miss

my family

my friends

being able to eat whatever i want

surfing

the ocean

taking long walks by myself

mom's cooking

simpler times

feeling inspired and fearless

knowing exactly what to do next

having a deep sense of gratitude

my inner connection with little d

so much to see, so little time

To make up for the agonizingly long months of lackluster offerings, there are SO MANY movies recently released or about to be released that I CANNOT WAIT to see! Here is a sampling:

X-Files: I Want To Believe (you KNOW this has to be on the top of my list!!)

HellBoy II: The Golden Army (yeah... i don't have high expectations based on the first one, but i gotta see it)

The Dark Knight (AW YEAH, BABY!! although it will be bittersweet to see this one)

Hancock (haven't seen it yet--very much looking forward to seeing it)

Gunnin' For That #1 Spot (directed by adam yauch, yo!)

A Man Named Pearl (wow--this story captured my heart when i first read about it some time ago)

Step Brothers (i almost cried i laughed so hard watching the trailer!)

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson (wow, super interesting documentary)

Man On Wire (can you tell i have a thing for documentaries?)

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (yeah... ya gotta like the mummy)

Tropic Thunder (are you kidding me?!?? hilarious!)

The Outlander (it's about time we had a viking movie, right?)

What Just Happened? (oh. my. goodness. uncle bobby is back!)

The Wackness (second movie release for method man in one year--impressive)

And I suppose I'm also looking forward to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, The Clone Wars and Harold--guilty pleasures.

I have already seen a handful of super movies, too: Get Smart (loved it), Wanted (kicked ass!), The Rocker (advance screening - laughed my ass off! - go see it when it comes out next month!), Iron Man (saw it twice), The Love Guru (classic mike myers), and Sex And The City--opening night, baby! Midnight screening! It was absolutely FABULOUS!!

And can I just say how awesome it is that there are so many superhero/comic strip character movies coming out within the next year? Yes. It is.

Anyway. I'm psyched. That's all. I think I shall go see a movie tonight!

i can't believe it's not june

July 2nd? Are you kidding me? Wow. Where did June go? Was I somehow trapped in a fast-forward time warp?

Sigh...

Same old story - so much to do, so little time. And all the while, I feel like I am missing out on something. Who knows what it is. I can't quite identify exactly what I feel I am missing, but I know I am missing something significant. Until I figure it out, here are some other things I am missing:

really excellent Cuban food

the ocean's waves

my girlfriends

my girlfriends' babies/kids--those I have met and especially those I have not met

spending time with my brothers

Trader Joe's

yoga

a glowing bronze tan that says "I have been outside having fun!" (with my spf on, of course)

being outside having fun

mom's cooking

chocolate cake

Lake Michigan

surfing

taking long walks in the moonlight

family

myself

you

right now enjoying...

Some iced tea that is TO-DIE-FOR! Thanks to Charla, I have a few special teas (among the 100s of teas in my pantry!), and one of those is an "Earl Grey Creme" tea. D-I-V-I-N-E. Since the weather has been hot lately, I brew the tea and then mix it with a little bit of agave nectar and add lots of ice. Voila! Heaven in a glass.

Listening to my entire U2 collection (which is pretty much everything except for a few import CDs and rareties) on my new iPod, the red. I heart her. Purrrrrrrrrr...

Eating a no-sugar dessert that tastes like it has sugar! Tonight, it's chocolate-banana eggrolls. It's made with banana, honey and grain-sweetened chocolate chips (barley grain is used to sweeten them) rolled in phyllo dough and sautéed until just browned. WOW! Super yummo.

Watching "Battlestar Galactica - The Series" with my husband. Time for another episode!

all i really need to know...

Remember the book All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten? I've been thinking about that lately in relation to how our behaviors - even little ones - can have a big impact in our own life and the lives of others. Somehow, this came to mind as I was watching an episode of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" the other night. (Yes, another guilty pleasure!) It was the episode in which Kate sets up a system of baskets for the little kids (she calls them "the babies") to use when putting their toys away. What struck me was that something as seemingly simple as putting things back where we found them can have long-term positive impact, even on a global level. Ponder for a moment if we, as a civilization, remembered to put things back where we found them or--even better--left each area of our planet that we touch in better condition than when we found it.

So, without adding unnecessary detail, I'd like to present some simple behaviors and habits that have transformed many areas of my own life, and I will leave it to the reader to interpret and apply in as many ways as he or she sees fit.

1. Always tell the truth.
2. Clean up after yourself.
3. Say "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me".
4. Listen carefully at all times.
5. Share with others.
6. Keep your eyes on your own work.
7. Be kind and respectful to others--and to yourself.
8. If you are not sure about something, ask a question.
9. You may agree or disagree with ideas, but not people.
10. Follow directions and obey the rules.
11. Always do your best.
12. Wash your hands.
13. Come to school/work/life prepared and on time.
14. Do your homework.
15. Resolve hurt feelings by talking, not by hurting others.
16. Be sure to get enough sleep each night.
17. Eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables.
18. Offer help to others in need.
19. Use your resources wisely. (Take only what you need.)
20. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. (sorry--had to add that one. not sure how it would contribute to world peace, but i'm sure we'd all smile a lot more if we had clean teeth!)

I am sure this is not all we really need to know--as an adult, I know that life is more complex. However, I tend to think it is only as complex as we allow it to be. It comforts me to see how spiritual truth can be lived or expressed quite simply. And more than anything, all this is a good reminder to myself not to allow things to become too complicated.

sugar and spice and everything nice

I totally fell off the wagon yesterday. In fact, I hurled myself from the wagon yesterday with vehemence into a relapse. (Damn Krispy Kreme donuts--you know the ones, with the chocolate icing and sprinkles. It's those damn sprinkles. They taunted me!) I must admit that I am not surprised. I had a very stressful, emotional weekend. And the particular kind of stress I felt ALWAYS leads me to sugar.

My relapse experience was odd, funny, fascinating and frightening all at the same time. While I have never taken drugs (of the illegal variety, anyway) and have zero interest in ever doing so, I feel like my experience yesterday (and other experiences in my life) gave me just the smallest insight into what some components of true addiction might be like. The compulsion--the drive (literally, in my case, yesterday) toward something I KNOW is unhealthy/wrong/bad for me--and the uncontrollable stream of conversation in my head convincing me to "just take that drug (or sugar) and it will all feel better" are powerful. While I was fully aware of what I was doing, I could not stop myself. Crazy.

So, today is day one. Again. I'm aiming for 30 days clean. No sugar. Here I go!

is it wrong...

...that i TOTALLY want to see George Michael in concert this summer???

*le sigh*

a list - third grade style

I am in Houston right now.

I am enjoying the warm weather, sunshine and company.

My allergies are getting the better of me this spring-into-summer season.

I have very seriously committed myself to addressing my food issues (especially as they relate to my allergies) for 30 days.

For the month of May, I am not eating any sugar, yeast or dairy--at all.

I would like to celebrate that so far I have fulfilled this commitment for 5 days.

I would also like to celebrate that I FINALLY have created some momentum behind my creative endeavors.

Ideas are zipping around in my head, and it feels exciting even though I don't know where it will lead.

I am excited that my friend Michelle and I enjoyed some creative time together doing scrapbooking on National Scrapbooking Day.

I made three very beautiful (yes, I'm praising myself) gifts for friends, and that brought a lot of joy to my heart.

I also made some Mother's Day cards that I sent out to mothers--specifically, my mother and my mother-in-law.

I miss my families.

I want my families to come visit us before we move from Nashville.

We are moving from Nashville to somewhere-warm-on-the-ocean sometime around July or August.

We don't know where exactly we will go yet.

I am excited about living by the ocean!

I hope to enjoy the ocean A LOT even though I will be working--I hope.

I don't know what I will do yet, but it will not be what I'm doing now.

I have started the process of figuring out what I want to do, and I am eager to see where it goes.

What I want to do at *this* moment is sleep.

Good night.

fulfilling a promise

I have a very loose sense of time. Anyone who has spent much time with me knows this, and it often causes friction among family members for whom time is of the utmost importance--namely, my father and my husband. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I am curious as to how this quality was fostered in me and because it has often been brought to my attention--by my father and my husband.

I am specifically thinking about this right now because about a month ago (sheesh--I can't believe it has been that long already!) I made a promise to a dear soul that I would write about his store in Los Angeles in exchange for a deal on a few fabulous items I purchased there. So, here I sit, writing now, about Bohac and Tara Home, in order to fulfill a promise--which I take much more seriously than time, apparently.

While we were in LA last month, I had an afternoon to myself, and I SO enjoyed it! (By the way--I need to remember how much I enjoy afternoons to myself and have them more often.) I spent some time driving through Silver Lake--a neighborhood which would have to be my home if I were to ever consider living in LA proper--and the Hollywood Hills. I spent some time walking near the Silver Lake reservoir, and I also spent time walking Melrose. I stopped at a few stores which are favorites of mine for good deals and beautiful items. One of those was Bohac--an eclectic mix of beautiful imported fabrics and home furnishings and accessories, Eastern-influenced jewelry, and bohemian clothing and fashion accessories. I always find something I want in my home or closet when I go to Bohac. A couple of years ago, my bro took me there to buy me a gorgeous beaded bracelet that still attracts compliments whenever I wear it.

This time, I walked away with some gifts for all my peeps at work here, beautiful sari curtains for our home, and two gorgeous scarves--one silk and one rayon. I had to seriously hold myself back from lugging home some amazing floor and roll pillows for our living room! It would be dangerous if I lived any closer to Bohac than I do. Not to mention its older sister, Tara Home. The spirit with which both businesses are run is inspiring. Check out their mission statement:

"It is our mission to search the world for objects, furniture and textiles which vibrate with the frequency of sacredness, love and upliftment." (from Tara Home's website: http://tara-home.com)

That really resonates for me and makes me feel happy about supporting their business! My tour guide and answerer of all questions that day at Bohac was Siri Darshan--an amazing person with a beautiful demeanor.

So, all this to say, check 'em out! If you are in LA, definitely stop by and say hi to Siri. And shop there!! I have no doubt you'll find some beautiful items for your home.

new...

The Fast has drawn to a close. The new year is upon us. Ahead, we see hopeful opportunities, enticing possibilities, a brighter morning, and more brilliant vistas.

We let go of those things that no longer serve us well, and we embrace new ideas and behaviors in an effort to break new ground and explore unfamiliar parts of ourselves.

Within us there are hopes, wishes and prayers for deeper relationship with each other, stronger connection with our family, and new encounters with souls who have yet to be included in our circles.

Our world cries out for us to redouble our efforts--in small and large ways--to expand our consciousness and compassion and to make choices that will preserve and enhance the beauty that nature has so generously shared with us. We pray our children will enjoy a safe, clean and beautiful existence.

The creative spirit stirs within us, and we heed its call. We dance, sing, paint, write and otherwise express our joy at being alive and fulfilling our soul's purpose.

We are being awakened to a new life.

Happy Naw Ruz.

fasting, day 19

At Feast tonight, a young boy offered his seat to me and sat on the floor during devotions. I was so touched! And then I realized... it means I'M OLD!!!!

I was so distraught by this notion that I baked some vegan banana bread AND zucchini bread tonight when I got home. No--you're not crazy. There's no logical correlation. I just felt like baking. And I listened to some good OLD 80s alternative electronica. Gah!

It was not so long ago *I* was the one offering up my seat to my elders out of respect and courtesy. Sitting on the floor has been very familiar and comfortable for me. It seems that I have passed the baton to a new generation of beautiful children and youth who are eager to serve their fellow community members.

I am excited by this prospect. Even if it means I'm old.

That's ok. I'll just put on some Clash, Depeche Mode or Psychedelic Furs and wallow in my agedness. Ha!

fasting, day 13

One of the beautiful things about the Fast is how full I feel. Not literally, but emotionally and spiritually.

I am grateful. I have gotten to spend time with family and friends from afar during the Fast.

I feel connected. I have conversation with God every day. All day.

I am meditative and reflective. I have taken myself to account in ways that surprise even me.

I am in the flow. Yoga and meditation have made themselves regular practices in my daily life.

I am surrounded by beauty. I find inspiration and loveliness in the people who walk through my life, the spaces I occupy and all the little things that make my life mine.

It may sound trite, but there is something zen about emptying oneself to discover fullness and offering up ourselves in loving submission to fasting only to receive unforeseen bounties.

Beautiful.