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March 20, 2009

fasting - nineteen

Fasting by the numbers:

road trips made: 2
total days fasted: 17 (I was exempt on two days, ahem)
yoga sessions: 8
blog entries: 19
phone calls to mom: 6
tickets purchased to see Keane in May: 2 (WOOT!!)
tickets purchased to see Depeche Mode in August: 2 (WOOT WOOT!!!)
times I realized how little I really need in order to live a fulfilled life: 3
times I wanted to cry: 5
husbands who fasted with me for the second half: 1
dads who drove into town for a weekend visit: 1

March 19, 2009

fasting - eighteen

Actually, I got nothing. Today, my mind is... blank. Well, maybe not blank; rather, my mind is regurgitating what I have already thought or expressed here. So, I got nothing. Nothing new, anyway.

During this Fast, I have realized how full of "wants" I am. In this next year, I am dedicating myself to reducing the wants and recognizing more fully the haves and can-dos. There are SO many can-dos, so why I choose not to DO at times baffles me. How does it serve me? What is the benefit or gain?

Hm.

March 18, 2009

fasting - seventeen

Today's musings:

What a lovely thing to have someone to call to inform you have landed at your intended destination.

It is an act of kindness to share the name and number of an excellent hairstylist with people who have bad haircuts -- you know who you are.

Even a doctor benefits from eating an apple every day.

Sitting down for too long can make you sleepy.

There is, truly, no place like home.

March 17, 2009

fasting - sixteen

God is great. All the time.

I just want to say that I have a new appreciation for the power of the Fast and the beauty of spiritual assistance in all matters.

Yup.

March 16, 2009

fasting - fifteen

All I have to say:

I am supremely grateful for the beautiful, kind, loving, supportive and generous friends and family we have in our lives. I don't know how we would be managing to get through this challenging time in our lives without them. We may not have money, but we are immensely rich.

Thank you.

March 15, 2009

fasting - fourteen

Today, I would like to bring myself to account. It's a day of celebrating my successes and noting weaknesses that still require my attention. Also, it's the Ides of March, but my life isn't (yet) a Shakespearean tragedy. A comedy, perhaps, but I digress...

I am celebrating:

Eating a vegan/vegetarian diet since the beginning of the year. I love fish and it is healthy to eat, so I am not fanatical about eating vegetarian; eggs are really good for my body in moderation, so I am not attached to eating vegan either. Altogether, I have been eating lots and lots of green vegetables, non-meat proteins, lots of fresh fruit, and whole (non-wheat) grains. No sugar, no yeast, no dairy, no gluten. I am rockin' it!

I still need to pay attention to:

Being judgmental. Sheesh! For whatever reason, this one is hard for me to crack these days. But I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

March 14, 2009

fasting - thirteen

Today feels like the longest day. Ever. I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm not eating and have been up since 7:00am.

In other news, it's nice to have some company with me in the mornings now. Steve decided to fast with me, and I think it is a great idea for him. He has some big stuff coming up for him next week, and this is a great way of getting clear and tapping into his spiritual power. Good stuff.

And finally, I have some things to look forward to this year. Namely, two concerts about which I'm totally enthralled! Keane in Chicago and Depeche Mode in LA!! WOOT!! I'm doubly blessed.

That's all.

March 13, 2009

fasting - twelve

As I sat in the libes today--headphones on, consumed in my computer work--a boy who looked to be about 6 or 7 years old came up to me and simply said, "Hi!" I looked up at him, smiled and put John Legend on pause.

"Well, hi there," I replied.

"Watcha doing?"

"I'm working on my computer."

"Oh, my daddy has a computer, but he's not working today."

"Well, what are YOU doing here?"

"I came to find a book on working. I want to be a hard worker 'cause mommy says hard workers are good helpers."

Awesome.

March 12, 2009

fasting - eleven

I am lost in thoughts of places far away and spaces in my mind that seem like dreams. I wonder if I am awake or asleep.

No, I'm definitely awake. I would have to be, riding a wave of transcendence that graces me with the gift of noticing those who slumber around me. I hope their snoring wakes them up. It's time.

I am light and lifted up, even if only for a moment--or eleven. I float high enough to see the future of my dreams and bend low enough to be in this present moment. It is a humble moment.

March 11, 2009

fasting - ten

Yesterday's lovefest with Rainn Wilson and Oprah Winfrey still has me feeling high. The inspiration and spiritual resonance that infused that interview are especially poignant as I reflect on new information regarding the injustices facing Bahá’ís in Iran

For those who may be unaware, in May of 2008, six Bahá’í administrative leaders were arrested in Iran and taken to the Evin prison. A seventh individual had been arrested two months earlier. According to news services:

"The six men and women, all members of the national-level group that helped see to the minimum needs of Bahá’ís in Iran, were in their homes Wednesday morning when government intelligence agents entered and spent up to five hours searching each home, before taking them away."

"The seventh member of the national coordinating group was arrested in early March in Mashhad after being summoned by the Ministry of Intelligence office there on an ostensibly trivial matter."

On the heels of news this past week about a 75-year-old Saudi woman who was sentenced to 40 lashes, four months imprisonment and deportation from the kingdom for having two unrelated men in her house, the news about the Bahá’ís in Iran seems rather expected or usual. However, in the context of the hundreds of Bahá’ís who were imprisoned and/or lost their lives during the 1980s, the arrests and upcoming trial are the latest actions of a systematic campaign to eradicate Bahá’ís from the land that birthed our Faith.

From the Bahá’í International Community's news service:

"On 21 August 1980, all nine members of the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Iran were abducted and disappeared without a trace. It is certain that they were killed.

"The National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Iran was reconstituted soon after that but was again ravaged by the execution of eight of its members on 27 December 1981.

"A number of members of local Bahá’í governing councils, known as local Spiritual Assemblies, were also arrested and executed in the early 1980s, before an international outcry forced the government to slow its execution of Bahá’ís. Since 1979, more than 200 Bahá’ís have been killed or executed in Iran, although none have been executed since 1998.

"In 1983, the government outlawed all formal Bahá’í administrative institutions and the Iranian Bahá’í community responded by disbanding its National Spiritual Assembly, which is an elected governing council, along with some 400 local level elected governing councils. Bahá'ís throughout Iran also suspended nearly all of their regular organizational activity.

"The informal national-level coordinating group, known as the Friends, was established with the knowledge of the government to help cope with the diverse needs of Iran’s 300,000-member Bahá’í community, which is the country’s largest religious minority."

The seven individuals are being charged with espionage and several other bogus crimes--all completely falsified. Read more here, and if you are interested, be sure to check out the supporting documents listed down the right side of the page as well as a thorough history of the systematic persecution of Iranian Bahá’ís.

As I have been keeping informed, several other articles help provide a fuller picture of what is happening. The most recent piece of correspondence is this letter written by the Bahá’í International Community and addressed to Iran's Prosecutor General. It is a powerful, beautifully written letter that I pray does not fall prey to blind eyes.

In the meantime, here is what you and I can do.

Senate Resolution 71, a concurrent resolution to House Resolution 175 regarding the persecution of the Bahá’ís in Iran, has now been introduced into the U.S. Senate by Senator Wyden of Oregon. The other original cosponsors are Senators Brownback, Menendez, Snowe, and Whitehouse.

You may write to your Senator regarding the critical situation in Iran and reference S. Res. 71 in your letter. Of course, if your Senator is already a cosponsor of the resolution, you may want to write and thank him or her for their support. You can track details regarding S. Res. 71 here.

You can also track if your Representative is a cosponsor of H. Res. 175 here, and you may want to write him or her as well.

We have a lot of work to do in this world.

March 10, 2009

fasting - nine

I only have one thing on my mind today. Well, several things, but this one is front and center and AMAZING!!! EXCITING!!! INSPIRING!!! EXCELLENT!!!

I spent a good part of the early morning hours as well as the last hour watching and re-watching this awesome interview between Oprah and Rainn Wilson, posted online yesterday. I just can't get enough of it. Every time I watch and listen, I have tears streaming down my face. For so many reasons, but mostly because of synchronicity and inspiration and timeliness. And soul.

If you follow the link, you will see and listen to actor and beautiful human being Rainn Wilson talking with Oprah for her Soul Series--interviews broadcast via XM/Sirius satellite radio and online. Once you've watched/listened to the interview, check out his new site, SoulPancake.

LOVE IT!!!

I think my favorite part of the interview is when Rainn tells Oprah to get ready for him to "get all mystical on [her] ass." Haha! Awesome.

Here's the audio-only link: http://www.oprah.com/media/20090309_oradio_oss

Today, my soul is refreshed and revived. Thank you, Rainn.

March 09, 2009

fasting - eight

I really miss:

exchanging handwritten letters with penpals
listening to records on a turntable
the thrill and splendor of saturday morning cartoons
watching the sunrise at highland park beach
commemorating holy days with my peeps
teaching art classes
dancing
doing meaningful work every day

March 08, 2009

fasting - seven

Practicing:

being in flow
listening carefully
maintaining serenity and balance in the face of "clamoring"
service
spiritual connection
all my healthy habits
restraint and detachment

March 07, 2009

fasting - six

Thinking about:

being less judgmental
being more helpful
speaking the truth
not taking things personally
how tiny just-born babies are
the importance of close family ties

March 06, 2009

fasting - five

One of my favorite moments during the past two days was when Bacchus first met his baby sister. "MY Baby Rowan," he lovingly calls her.

brotherly love

He is so tender and gentle with her, and he is always concerned about what's happening for her. If she looks like she's going to cry, he says, "Oh, wha happen?" So precious.

I'm just enjoying this time, moment by moment. What a gift.

March 05, 2009

fasting - four

Very early today, we welcomed a new angel to the family! Baby girl Rowan was born around 4:30am, and mommy Sara and daddy Drew are elated!! She is the cutest niece ever! And she's doing really well--perfectly pink!

baby rowan

So, today is all about birth and being born. While we weren't at the hospital for the actual delivery--because the baby was born so quickly--we spent the wee hours of the morning visiting the wee one. It was excellent.

March 04, 2009

fasting - three

I am reflecting on judgment today, especially since I have noticed that I am quick to judge others lately and I am not sure I like that. In fact, I am pretty sure I do not like it, but I am not sure how to avoid it. After all, what is judging other than forming an opinion or making a decision?

However, my thoughts are not quite ready for primetime yet. So, instead of some rambling essay describing my process of rumination, I share this quote because it really moved me this morning:

“In this Day a great festival is taking place in the Realm above; for whatsoever was promised in the sacred Scriptures hath been fulfilled. This is the Day of great rejoicing. It behoveth everyone to hasten towards the court of His nearness with exceeding joy, gladness, exultation and delight and to deliver himself from the fire of remoteness.” (Bahá'u'lláh)

March 03, 2009

fasting - two

I am practicing gratitude.

February is typically a month I wish didn't even exist. It is a wasteland of a month: very short but just long enough to remind you that winter is still around, usually FREEZING (which you know is my FAVE kind of weather) because winter is still around, and filled with days stuck inside and nights that are too long... because winter is still around. Alas.

However, this past February was perhaps one of my favorite Februaries ever. We actually had a lot of fun—or at least I did—and for that I am grateful.

trivia night

We took a trip to St. Louis to participate in a trivia night fundraiser for Steve's cousin Tammy and her family. Her little guy, Robbie, has been courageously battling cancer for a good part of this past year, and the fundraiser (organized by a few of their friends) would help Tammy be there at home with him and his little brother rather than putting in long days at work to make ends meet. It was quite moving to see hundreds of people (literally) get together to support a family in need. I think that is one of the things I love about our country and its communities -- our willingness to pull together and support each other in times of crisis. It was so much fun!

Second, although I am not a fan of Valentine's Day, I do appreciate love in all its glory and am quite the romantic. And particularly because My Love is feeling a little "less than" these days, I decided to show him some love. We started with heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast accompanied by a lovely little card; then, we snuggled on the couch for the afternoon and watched movies; and finally, thanks to my mom, I treated My Love to a dinner out at his favorite restaurant and a drive through town. It was loverly. Somewhere along the way, I also received a card and even a rose.

valentine's day

Then, we surprised Sara for her birthday! After a series of phone calls that revealed she was feeling bummed out that no one would be around to celebrate her birthday, we drove out to her house and surprised her with a homemade birthday cake, presents and hugs. It was SO fun!! I love surprising people.

sara's surprise!

Finally, we celebrated Steve's last birthday in his 30s by going out with family and a friend of his from high school to have some buffalo wings and play trivia. We have become quite pro at trivia since Robbie's fundraiser. It was a fun night; Steve received beautiful cards and warm wishes and love.

steve's birthday party

Oh yeah! And I made SNOWMEN!! And they are lovely, even though the birds have picked their raisin eyes out by now.

snowmen!

In all, February was not too bad a month this time around. I am grateful, because honestly, I don't know that I could have THRIVED this February otherwise. I am also grateful for those people who made it a special time for us. Thank you.

March 02, 2009

fasting - one

As I recited my prayers this morning, this particular passage resonated strongly for me:

"...make me steadfast in Thy love, that my footsteps may not slip on account of the clamor of Thy creatures."

Lately, I realize clearly that my footsteps have been slipping often on account of the clamor of creatures around me, and it disturbs me.

It would be easy for me to write it off as being circumstantial—after all, others in my situation might just as easily stray from the path they walk. And while that may be true that others are easily swayed this way or that, I don't know that I want it to be true for me. The question that arises for me, then, is how much of what I want to change within or about myself CAN actually be changed given the circumstances in which I find myself? Can a person find steadfastness and serenity living among a group of people that is (by definition or by chance) challenging to one’s steadfastness and unsettling? For example, can a recovering alcoholic stay sober if he works at a bar or hangs out with friends who drink all the time? Or can a habitual liar tell the truth if she only spends time with others who lie easily? Can we propagate positive energy and radiate love if we are surrounded only by negative or hateful people?

I have only to examine history to bear witness to numerous examples of individuals who have overcome the most extreme of circumstances and manage to remain steadfast, strong and sterling in their character. Clearly, we have the ability to transcend. Then, perhaps my true question is, “WILL a person stay sober if he spends time with drinkers?” What are the conditions needed for a person to rise above the clamor that surrounds her and find serenity regardless?

From the prayer I read: “…make me steadfast in Thy love…”

When we cling to our KNOWING God’s love for us, we can transcend. In times of tests, that knowing is compromised and we turn to our instinct to survive, to get through it (hopefully unscathed), and to emerge from trials having gained something. To be sure, I am strong enough to survive my current situation. I am acutely aware that millions of people in the world suffer greatly and are far more challenged than I am in this time, and they are surviving. Surely I will survive as well, but there is a difference between surviving and thriving. What gnaws at me is that I want to THRIVE! And not merely survive this time.

Not too long ago, I felt a surge in energy—creative and powerful energy. Having tasted that, I had a glimpse of what thriving might look like for me. Now, I am experiencing a time during which there is a lot of clamoring, a lot of noise that seems peripheral at first but quickly steps to the forefront of my daily experience and distracts me from my goals and that delicious creative energy.

During the Fast this year, I want to be more steadfast in God’s love to achieve some serenity that my footsteps may not slip, or at least slip less frequently. That is my prayer today and every day.