delara, interrupted

I totally fell off the wagon yesterday. In fact, I hurled myself from the wagon yesterday with vehemence into a relapse. (Damn Krispy Kreme donuts--you know the ones, with the chocolate icing and sprinkles. It's those damn sprinkles. They taunted me!) I must admit that I am not surprised. I had a very stressful, emotional weekend. And the particular kind of stress I felt ALWAYS leads me to sugar.

My relapse experience was odd, funny, fascinating and frightening all at the same time. While I have never taken drugs (of the illegal variety, anyway) and have zero interest in ever doing so, I feel like my experience yesterday (and other experiences in my life) gave me just the smallest insight into what some components of true addiction might be like. The compulsion--the drive (literally, in my case, yesterday) toward something I KNOW is unhealthy/wrong/bad for me--and the uncontrollable stream of conversation in my head convincing me to "just take that drug (or sugar) and it will all feel better" are powerful. While I was fully aware of what I was doing, I could not stop myself. Crazy.

So, today is day one. Again. I'm aiming for 30 days clean. No sugar. Here I go!

Posted by Delara at 03:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

...that i TOTALLY want to see George Michael in concert this summer???

*le sigh*

Posted by Delara at 09:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I am in Houston right now.

I am enjoying the warm weather, sunshine and company.

My allergies are getting the better of me this spring-into-summer season.

I have very seriously committed myself to addressing my food issues (especially as they relate to my allergies) for 30 days.

For the month of May, I am not eating any sugar, yeast or dairy--at all.

I would like to celebrate that so far I have fulfilled this commitment for 5 days.

I would also like to celebrate that I FINALLY have created some momentum behind my creative endeavors.

Ideas are zipping around in my head, and it feels exciting even though I don't know where it will lead.

I am excited that my friend Michelle and I enjoyed some creative time together doing scrapbooking on National Scrapbooking Day.

I made three very beautiful (yes, I'm praising myself) gifts for friends, and that brought a lot of joy to my heart.

I also made some Mother's Day cards that I sent out to mothers--specifically, my mother and my mother-in-law.

I miss my families.

I want my families to come visit us before we move from Nashville.

We are moving from Nashville to somewhere-warm-on-the-ocean sometime around July or August.

We don't know where exactly we will go yet.

I am excited about living by the ocean!

I hope to enjoy the ocean A LOT even though I will be working--I hope.

I don't know what I will do yet, but it will not be what I'm doing now.

I have started the process of figuring out what I want to do, and I am eager to see where it goes.

What I want to do at *this* moment is sleep.

Good night.

Posted by Delara at 01:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)