delara, interrupted

being able to call my brother spontaneously to get together for dinner and a walk along the lake with Dame Tessera

the junk trucks!!

our amazing skyline... always a sight to behold

the Shedd Aquarium and Brookfield Zoo

Chicago-style hot dogs

beach volleyball during summer - save me a spot from time to time, y'all

Buckingham Fountain on a hazy, 80-degree summer evening

glorious thunder/lightening storms

free Tuesdays at the Art Institute

walking down Michigan Avenue

all the Mexican neighborhoods and their spirit

the Botanic Garden and Ravinia Park in the summertime (I will have to come for at least one concert this summer!)

Long Grove Village - if you've never gone, you must go

Frango mints at Marshall Field's - and I hope they don't change the name to Macy's!

Taste of Heaven and Ann Sathers - sigh... I hope I can find breakfasty places like those in Nashvegas

biking through the Skokie Lagoons

spending time with you

Posted by Delara at 08:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I'm not leaving on a jet plane, although for whatever reason that song keeps popping into my head. I'm leaving by car, and the closer I get to Saturday the stranger that seems. What were feelings of utter excitement and anticipation two weeks ago have given way to feelings of anxiety and worry. Ha! Ah well... I suppose that goes with the territory of stepping out into completely unknown territory.

Deep inside, I do feel courage, strength and determination. On the surface, I'm just plain nervous. The human experience, right? We are full of paradox.

But transformation and growth are the name of the game. (And now I have that Abba song in my head... how interesting, although completely unrelated in terms of theme.) And I'm eager for both, although I realize it's a loooooong road ahead of me and there will still be a lot of pain. I have evidence of that every day, even now. But I'm game - let's do it.

I've already started a list of things I'll miss about Chicago...

Posted by Delara at 08:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Dear Delara,

Please quit playing around on the internet and get back to packing up the stuff in your apartment! After all, you have to move it all out on Saturday.

Sincerely,
Vance Mudgeman

Posted by Delara at 11:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

• pine trees lined up like kings wearing thick robes of white fur
• the absolute serenity of the quiet, still air, lit only by moonlight
• sledding, snowboarding or skiing!
• watching little children waddle around wrapped in layer after layer of warmth like little Michelin men
• surprising a friend with a snowball at the back of his neck (pretty sneaky...)
• lighting a fire, boiling some water for cocoa or tea, curling up in an oversized armchair with a good book, and watching the fog dance underneath the lamposts outside
• the way everything seems to sparkle from the snowflakes
• doing donuts in an empty parking lot
• making snow angels
• driving along a country road and enjoying the breathtaking scenery

Posted by Delara at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's always the little things I notice about people and places that linger in my memory. These days, I have been paying close attention to even the most mundane experiences that I may soak in enough of my sweet home Chicago to sustain me through this next part of my life's journey. In just a few weeks, I will be living by a different lake (one much smaller than my beloved Michigan), in a different town (although there is an Antioch in Illinois as well), in a different state. A state of bewilderment, perhaps - but also a state of possibility and excitement. And change - definitely a state of change, if there is such a thing.

I have been contemplating (dreaming about) this kind of journey for quite some time now. In fact, I had begun such a journey almost exactly 9 years ago. I took a detour, though, and found myself deviating drastically from the original plan. And though I don't have any regrets - for I would not be where I am today had I not veered off the road - I am eager to find my stride again along a new path that will take me toward my original intended destination.

I don't mean for this to be so cryptic. Honestly! Perhaps I'm being vague because I just don't have many details to share yet. There is a loose plan - an idea, really - for what my life will be about. It has to do with growth, learning, flying, simplicity, and (above all) being true and honest and happy. Especially the happy part.

To those who may not come with me on this segment of the journey, I wish you peace, contentment, and the gift of finding your own path - one that is true for you and unique to your needs. And one that (above all) brings you happiness as well.

Posted by Delara at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

feeling powerful and at peace in the affirmation of my submission to a higher will, a divine purpose...

big changes outside to manifest big changes inside...

all the love and support that has been showered upon me from unexpected people and places, at unexpected times...

seemingly closed doors that actually lead me to a narrower (and therefore clearer) path...

keeping my eyes on that path and the vision toward which it leads - and how surprisingly easy it is to stay on that path in these days...

the gift of being able to dream and envision something other than what presently is - creating a world of possibility...

the uncertainty and risk that is also created...

feeling humbled and deeply grateful...

these heavenly words: "Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity..." - Bahá'u'lláh

Posted by Delara at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hm. Where has the time gone? More importantly, where have I gone?

Ah, wouldn't you like to know.

Here's what I got for now - January is typically a hibernation month for me. I don't like to go out much, I don't like to see people, I just want to lounge all day in my bathrobe and fuzzy socks (the pea-green ones) and watch movies. Lots and lots of movies. And eat chocolate chip cookies. And read. And drink hot tea. Or cocoa. Yum.

But this year is different...

This year, I don't have the desire to stay in at all. And rather than be in hibernation mode, I'm in get-it-done mode. And I'm grateful even though the path looks seriously rocky. I've got my hiking boots on, folks. Bring it on.

First up, I'd love to redesign this site. Any ideas?

I've got a few. Let's see when they'll manifest. Remember, if I think it then I do it. Right?

Perhaps this little wave of energy and optimism will carry me through the doldrums of February. One can only dream... sigh.

Posted by Delara at 04:22 PM | Permalink