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September 28, 2005

crash

I *finally* saw the movie "Crash" last night. And I'm so glad, even though my entire body was tense throughout the movie. It's a good thing I was watching it alone! I would have completely injured the arm of whoever was sitting next to me otherwise.

Here's the thing, though. It wasn't the racism that was stressing me out. (Although, admittedly, there were several scenes that were impossible for me to watch without feeling sick to my stomach.) It was the anger--out in the open anger, seething below the surface anger, hidden behind sarcasm, verbal and physical attacks, addiction and other ways in which we separate ourselves from others. Anger, along with its trusty companion fear, was the quality in the characters and their actions that most distressed me. And I am still reflecting on how powerful an emotion it can be.

Sandra Bullock's character (Jean Cabot) had a pivotal line in the movie that might have gone unnoticed because it is so subtle and in a scene that is not as shocking as many others. Nevertheless, it encapsulates the quality to which I was so strongly reacting. She is talking on the phone with one of her closest friends and says:

"I am angry... Yes, at [the men who stole my car]. Yes at them, the police, at Rick, at Maria, at the dry cleaners who destroyed another blouse today, at the gardener who keeps overwatering the lawn... I just thought that... I just thought that I would wake up today and I would feel better, you know? But I was still mad, and I realized, I realized that it had nothing to do with my car being stolen. I wake up like this every morning. I am angry all the time and I don't know why, Carol, I don't know why..."

Yup. And I believe there are millions of people who walk around feeling this exact same thing every single day. They just don't recognize it. They don't see it in the way they flip off or yell at the slow driver in front of them on the freeway, or in the way they chew out the waitress for bringing the wrong order, or in the way they glare at the passenger on the train who bumped up against them and invaded their "personal space". They don't recognize their sarcasm, competitiveness, stonewalling, or withdrawal (yes, withdrawal) as signs of anger deep below the surface of their consciousness. They don't even realize the effects their rampant raging emotions have on their body. Or maybe they do recognize it but think it's perfectly normal to rant and rave about the little and big things in life.

And this, more than anything, makes me feel very sad. Not in a judgmental way, though. Believe me, I understand the anger. I have lived that way too. And I've seen it destroy lives, demolish families and completely separate an individual from any sense of spiritual reality. The kind of anger that surrounds us daily is palpable to me, and it makes me feel sad because it indicates an unawareness of our true nature and capacity as precious human beings. Perfectly imperfect, but precious nonetheless.

What is it that we're so angry about anyway?

Ironically, the anger that motivates us to keep ourselves separate from everything and everyone seems to stem from a desperate need for connection and attraction--love. Underneath it all, we all desire connection, love and acceptance. But we keep ourselves so separate that we have no real way to achieve these things. And so, we resort to anger the way a toddler might resort to crankiness or tantrums when he has no way of communicating something he is feeling or thinking.

Again, a key line from the movie illustrates what happens as a result of our separateness and anger. This time, it is delivered by Don Cheadle's character (Det. Graham Waters) in the opening scene:

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know... You brush past people, people bump into you. But in LA nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something."

Yup. Deep.

All I can say is kudos to director/writer Paul Haggis and his co-writer Robert Moresco for accomplishing what they wanted to--make a film that stimulates self-examination and conversation about the very difficult yet important and real issues of racism, justice and morality.

September 21, 2005

dm update #1

Thanks to the help of one fabulous Mr. Myk Gerard, we are going to see Depeche Mode at the end of November. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And there was much rejoicing in the land.

September 19, 2005

we're not in kansas anymore

I have a tenuous grasp today - on words, my emotions, reality... But it's not just today. I'm not sure where I am most of the time, oddly, although I am aware of what's happening around me. I mean, I know where I am, but it all just seems so disjointed. Like my compass is sitting on top of a magnet and going wonky.

There is something in me that bids me write about this - my comings and goings, my current life circumstances - but really... how could I possibly do that? There is no point of reference, and I don't believe there is integrity in getting all personal about people who have not given me their permission to do so. Or, I'd just sound crazy or depressed - neither of which quite fit what's happening. But if I remain silent, it is as though I fell away somewhere.

So, there we have it. This little squeak isn't meant to be cryptic and doesn't even scratch the surface. But it is perfectly what it is meant to be. And we'll move on from here and figure out the next step as we take it.

Breathe in... breathe out. Repeat.

September 18, 2005

silver lining

I thought I wanted to go dancing last night. Until it became last night. And then I was just too tired and would have rather seen a late, late show at the cinema. But I went anyway, and I enjoyed the music - there were some really good house and hip hop remixes until about 1am. I loved being able to move my body to the rhythm, and I definitely enjoyed the company. I love dancing!

I realized last night that dancing and going to the dance clubs are two entirely different things. At least now, at this point in my life. (Oh yeah, I'm old, remember?!) And so, when the music got to be "too much" and the drunkenness around me was just intolerable, I was done - literally - and needed to go home.

I finally got home at about 2:30, exhausted and longing for the comfort of bed. But when I saw the box with the unmistakable swooping arrow/smile thingy that clearly came from Amazon.com sitting in front of my door, I was elated and felt a second wind coming on. It may as well have been a room service tray with a fresh orchid stem in a vase, steaming hot cocoa, a lightly toasted croissant with the most delicious marmalade you can imagine, smoked salmon quiche (a la A Taste of Heaven in Andersonville), and a note from a secret admirer promising all kinds of... well you get the point - all mysteriously left at my door to welcome me home in style.

Aaaaaaaaaahhh. Heavenly. I did find my second wind and stayed up for a while listening to the glorious sounds of my new Mae, Lucky Boys Confusion and Jill Scott CDs - just a few items in the "happy birthday to me" shipment of music I received. (No, it's not my birthday.)

It was amazing falling asleep to the sounds of "...really can't explain it but I, I hear the music when I look at you. Orchestrating the song to accommodate the moment. Well, I'm so in love with you..."

September 13, 2005

why kids rock my world

As I was driving my "nephew" Chase home from school today, as a favor to my fabulous friend Ladan, the conversation I had with him went something like this:

Chase: "Wanna hear my very big number?"
me: "Sure! What's your very big number?"
Chase: "Three hundred and trillion, twenty five and billion, four trillion, five and gadzillion!"
me, in between giggling: "That's the BIGGEST number I've ever heard! Wow! My head hurts that number is so big!"
Chase: "I think that's the biggest number ever! It's barely big!!"

And later:

Chase: "You should come over more often - we could have adventures!"
me: "You mean like the adventure you had yesterday in the yard with Pinga?"
Chase: "Yeah, we could build marble worlds and all kinds of Lego cities."
me: "That would be so fun, Chase. You know, I'm actually an adventure specialist."
Chase: "Yeah, me too. I specially like adventures."

Precious.

September 09, 2005

a magnificently bright light at the end of the tunnel

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

What I consider to be the BEST electronic-pop band of all time has announced their 2005-2006 tour dates for their upcoming album "Playing the Angel" - to be released in October.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

You want to see me the most excited and totally ROCKED OUT I can possibly be? See me at a DM concert. They are my Elvis.

And... AND!!! They are touring with not just one, but TWO amazing bands: The Bravery and The Raveonettes. I am beside myself with giddiness.

Folks, I might just *have* to see Depeche Mode twice this winter. Oh, the agony. The BLISS!

depeche mode tour 2005/2006

Donations to the "Send Delara to Depeche Mode Fund" are greatly appreciated. (kidding...)