delara, interrupted

Got my moblog going, finally. I like it.

Posted by Delara at 11:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard during a game of Taboo! We were all rolling on the floor at Lacey's last night having a BLAST playing it. Topping the list was Andre's clue about Pinocchio: he said very slowly and with a lot of intention, "...and it gets bigger..." and we all just erupted in laughter. Probably (definitely) one of those you-had-to-be-there moments, but it was *priceless* to say the least. Then it was P-Air's turn: the clue was, "it's made up of lots of cells..." to which P-Air guessed, "Al Qaeda?" Again, laughing convulsions on the floor for us all. Finally, Andre had us all laughing hard with his rendition of Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker theme, hummed in a high-pitched voice. Amazing but not so graceful.

During a round of clues I was giving, I was amused by the number of words that related to my upcoming trip to Hawaii, and I capitalized on the opportunity to rub it in. (Haha - not really.) I ruthlessly gave clues for ukulele, sunburn, postcard, and one other that I am forgetting at the moment - these rounded out a set of 8 clues that my team got. I think we won by like 542 points. Woo hoo! Ok, well, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but with Nas, Lacey, Charla, George, Greg, and I on a team how could we NOT have ruled the world?!??

Props to Paulie, P-Air, Andre, Schweitz, Vad, and Myk for being worthy opponents. Good times, good times.

Posted by Delara at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

...about my life is the people in it

...about today is that George is here in Chi-town (c'mon everybody, clap yo hands!)

...about this week has been uncovering some serious psychological/emotional work I have to do in order to move on in healthy ways in my life

...about the past month has been my productivity and new ideas on the horizon with regard to work

...in the world is that I am alive and am ever more present in my life, now.

Posted by Delara at 08:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I am continually amazed by what ordinary events (and extraordinary events) can teach me about myself and the deep-seated issues that haunt me. To say that I am undergoing tremendous change in my life right now would be like saying the John Hancock is just a small office building. And yes, I am one of those people who believes change is good. And often quite necessary otherwise you stagnate. Or worse, regress. But all this change has been taking its toll on me physically, and I've started on a path of healing that is teaching me a lot.

With the use of applied kinesiology and other NET techniques employed by the most wonderful integrated health clinic I know (my new doctor's office in Glenview - I LOVE these people!), I have begun actively working on some health issues that have been a challenge for me for quite some time now. More recently, though, my back pain, digestive issues, anxiety and other issues have been off the charts. So, time for help. And the results have been amazing and have also challenged me to make some more changes. Yeah, like I needed that. Haha.

So, some things I have to remove from my diet if I want to feel super good:

coffee
soy products (of all kinds - YIKES!)
peanuts/peanut butter
dairy (which I knew already)

And my immediate response to this - which amused me to no end - was, "how do I get around _this_ when I am totally craving a decaf peppermint mocha freddo w. soymilk at Peet's?" Ack!

So, my chiropractor and I made a deal that we would allow ourselves a monthly transgression and give in to our cravings. But only once a month.

Yikes. How am I going to do this when sugar, chocolate and coffee are three things I totally crave when I'm undergoing change (read stress)??

Posted by Delara at 08:05 PM | Permalink

OMG! I am so excited that One magazine is back on the scene, yo! It tickles me to think about the fact that One facilitated my original connection to Moj! She was my patient editor, and I was such a slacker in terms of submitting my articles. My life then was pretty much as it is now in that I got so excited about so many things (particularly in relation to service for my Faith) that I was always over-committed. But yes - that is how I first met Moj, at least virtually since we only ever emailed each other. Aaaaaahh!! How cool!

So, check it out.

Posted by Delara at 07:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Andrew raised a rich and interesting point in his comment a few days ago - that some of us view nobility as an attribute or station to attain rather than an inherent quality to our nature. During the 6+ hours I spent on the plane last week going to and coming back from Tucson I mulled this over. And over. And connected some simple thoughts in this way:

First of all, the way nobility is described in scripture is something like "the state or quality of being exalted in character" where exalted is "intensified, heightened, glorified, honored, elevated" and such.

Then, if nobility is the inherent nature of man, there ought to be evidence of it in our early years. So, as we observe children, what signs do we see of nobility? Perhaps the confidence they have about what they know? Their innate kindness and compassion? Their purity? Their innate sense of people? And there are probably 50 or so other things we could cite that demonstrate how children embody an elevated human character.

In the physical world, nobility might look a perfect rose, fragrant and in full bloom. It might be a falcon flying as high as it can, its wings spread wide with majesty. An object or being fulfilling its inherent design in the most perfect way possible, but again - as an inherent function of its natural design. In other words, the rose didn't need to do anything during its growing years to be so perfect, and the falcon wasn't doing exercises every morning to be able to fly so high and majestically.

We are not necessarily unique in that we have nobility, but that nobility is a quality reflected in nature compels me to believe that it exists inherently within us as well. Perhaps our uniqueness lies in our ability to choose to continue exalting our character or not through our rational soul. How, then, do we cultivate a sense of nobility in ourselves? I would posit that through the transformative power of the word of God we continue to exalt our character.

For our girls night the last two months, we watched and discussed the film "What The Bleep Do We Know?" and there were some relevant themes that really resonated for me. The whole bit about how water can be affected by words, the power of loving oneself - to me, that demonstrates the power of the word of God to transform and empower us, if we take "word of God" to embody positive attributes and forces in the world.

In the book "The Four Agreements," Don Miguel Ruiz comments on the same power with the first agreement - "Be impeccable with your word." He explains how the word is the most powerful thing we have as humans - it is, in a sense, our power of creation. As such, I believe it has the power to help cultivate our sense of nobility or diminish it.

My life these days is, uh, challenging to say the least. And I know without a doubt that it is only through the power of the word of God (translated into MANY different kinds of actions - the love and support of my friends and family, my realization or tenuous grasp of spiritual insights, seemingly random events that help guide and direct me, etc.) that I am able to walk around like a normal human being and feel something close to wholeness. It transforms me in a way that is tangible to my experience as a human but difficult to put into words. Otherwise, I think I would really lose it.

Just some random thoughts...

Posted by Delara at 01:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

What I have seen and have totally enjoyed in the past three weeks, in no particular order:

1. Star Wars Episode 3
2. Star Wars Episode 2
3. Kung Fu Hustle
4. Kicking and Screaming
5. Chocolat
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
7. Benny and Joon
8. The Negotiator
9. Raising Helen

Phew. My eyes need a rest. But thank goodness for Netflix.

Posted by Delara at 11:28 PM | Permalink

Short and sweet...

Saw Star Wars Episode III at 12:01am this morning. Wow. It was good - and I am tired.

Seriously tired.

Then, we saw Kung Fu Hustle this afternoon - we being the Mossayebs in Tucson, John and me. THIS was *HILARIOUS* beyond belief. I don't know why I found it to be so funny. But there we were, in a small theatre with no more than 10-15 people watching (as opposed to the 1000s of peeps who came out for SW last night...) and we were laughing our heads off. Man, it is funny with a capital F.

And more to come - Crash tomorrow afternoon, and Chocolat Saturday night.

Yeah. Then I'll call it quits on the movie scene for a short while.

And have I mentioned lately that I have the song "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus stuck in my head!??

Posted by Delara at 11:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

These days, it seems wherever I look I see some kid doing the most adorable thing and it just moves me. Yesterday, I had just a bit of time to relax during the afternoon (remember - I'm on hiatus... yeah) and I was just so enraptured and overjoyed by the sound of the kids in the neighborhood out playing and making "happy" noises. I loved it! I couldn't help but pause to laugh every now and then. It made having my windows open to let in the gorgeous spring air all that much more enjoyable.

Posted by Delara at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

O Son of Spirit! Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise, then, unto that for which thou wast created. - Baha'u'llah

And since I'm trying to memorize this in Spanish too...

O Hijo del Espíritu! Te he creado noble; sin embargo tú te has degradado a ti mismo. Elévate, pues, a aquello para lo que fuiste creado.

Posted by Delara at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Greg and I bantered yesterday about the joys of being a badass. Well, really *I* waxed poetic about it and he just laughed his head off. Yeah, I was in rare form. Must have been the Popeye's we ate. Blech.

Anyway... here's what we came up with.

You know you're a badass when you're walking downtown wearing a long black trenchcoat, military pants, combat boots _with_ steel toes, a black t-shirt with a large image of a skull on the front, and your sidekick is a friend wearing a long black cape, black boots and a Darth Vader mask/helmet.

Yeah. Life just doesn't get any more ridiculous than that.

Posted by Delara at 05:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

For some reason I was thinking about Valentine's Day all day today. (*How many days were in that sentence?) I don't know why. I mean, I recognize that it's May 14, so maybe I was connecting that with February 14? Who knows. It was strange.

But what kept coming up for me were questions about love - what it looks like, what it might feel like, how it manifests between people out of thin air sometimes, what attracts people to one another, what bonds people together over long periods of time. A lifetime ago, I put together a workshop on love and presented it at a Baha'i conference. The focus of the workshop was increasing one's love for God - and the same questions came up. What does that look like? What does it feel like? What bonds us to God over long periods of time?

The best part of the workshop for me was the research - reading through vast amounts of material and pulling quotations from various religious traditions, literature and arts, and scientific thinkers. Why was this my favorite aspect of the preparation process? Because they all basically said the same thing.

I haven't been able to find my notes from that workshop despite my meticulous filing system. Ha ha. But these gems from Baha'u'llah's "Hidden Words" have been floating in and out of my consciousness today:

"O Son of Man! I loved thy creation, hence I created thee. Wherefore, do thou love Me, that I may name thy name and fill thy soul with the spirit of life."

And this:

"O Son of Justice! Whither can a lover go but to the land of his beloved? And what seeker findeth rest away from his heart's desire? To the true lover reunion is life, and separation is death. His breast is void of patience and his heart hath no peace. A myriad lives he would forsake to hasten to the abode of his beloved."

I am enraptured by the thought of meditating on these and absorbing their meaning (or some of their meaning, for what can we truly understand in whole?) for the next few days.

Posted by Delara at 11:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Banana smoothie in a cup

Beautiful columbine growing in the park

Dressed for cold weather - is it really supposed to be 70+ degrees today?

Smelled like rain in the air

Two dads pushing kids in strollers while drinking Starbucks and chatting

Coldplay on the radio - love the new stuff - remembered that I can't find my "Rush of Blood to the Head" CD

Reflected on the efficacy of my chiropractic adjustment yesterday

Negative feelings kept poking at me and spilled out in words as drivers did their usual nonsense

Negative feelings had me thinking I'm irritable today - I realized this is not the case, though, as I reflected on my awareness of wanting not to be negative

In the end, I am grateful to be alive and to be aware of the value in living this glorious life.

Posted by Delara at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Whatever is happening to me these days must either be so good that I don't have time to blog or so horrible that the thought of writing something intelligible is overwhelming.

Take your pick. It's all true.

Last Friday was our monthly girls night - so fun! We had watched the film "What the Bleep Do We Know?" last month and had a bit of discussion about it last week. Have I mentioned how much this film has changed my thinking? The illustrious Sina had mentioned it when it first came out, and my life being what it usually is, I never set the time aside to go see it while it was in theaters. Providential, in some ways, only because I think deeper meanings of the film would have been lost on me months ago whereas it had a huge impact on me given my current life circumstances. So, to follow up on the film, last week a dear friend of mine shared with us her experiences over the past 6 months - experiences of attracting what I consider divine grace, being open to and aware of the possibilities around us, and following one's heart's desire. Powerful.

That evening confirmed for me the value of following a path dedicated to exploring possibilities in life.

Since then, I hadn't set foot back in my home until last night at about 11:30pm. With another dear friend (Sofi) who came into town from Atlanta, we went to Ohio to be supportive friends for a few days on Saturday. I flew back to Chicago on Tuesday SPECIFICALLY to be with my girl Nas at - what else?!?? - the U2 concert! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It was amazing. From their playlist, to their set design, to the fans who got to share the stage (and even a guitar) with U2, to the fact that we got to sing happy birthday to Bono - it was just magical. I'm hoping Nas doesn't take forever (kidding, babe - kidding!) to email me some photos so that I can post them. And just have them. And look at them every now and then to remind me about how much fun we had! And how fantastic the performance was. You know, artists evolve, and what some critics have said about Bono being too preachy or whatever I call evolution. Or elevation. Depending on how you look at it.

Having crashed at Nas's place that night, I woke up to a phenomenal thunderstorm (have I mentioned how much I LOVE thunderstorms?) and the realization that I had left my rear windows cracked open the night before. Hence, a wet backseat yesterday morning. ACK! Ah well - detachment, right? And so began yesterday - one of those "nothing will go right today" days. And it was, indeed, one of those days. Ha! Sharp contrast from the day before. It was 40 degrees colder yesterday than the day before, and so I wasn't dressed warmly enough and was sneezing all day. Got frustrated trying to book some tickets online with mileage, and stayed late at the office (did I mention I didn't get home until 11:30?) desperately trying to finish some things so that I could take today off completely. That didn't happen - still have to write up a report today. But I did get to catch up with George a bit while driving home last night. The silver lining...

And so, here we are today. With a world of possibilities before us. All of the past week's events and realizations further confirm for me the need to disconnect for a while, take time off - recharge, refocus. Today begins the first official day off for the next month or so. We'll see how this goes.

Posted by Delara at 09:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Attention "222-22" - otherwise known as "barbie873lx":

STOP TEXTING MY PHONE with your offer to become my girlfriend!

Man, you know the world is falling apart when you start getting mobile text message spam. What would we call that? Spim, in fact. Stop the madness!

Posted by Delara at 04:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Today, in most respects, was a glorious day. It was glorious in that I have gotten A LOT done. And these days, that can be a challenge due to my failing concentration and distractability. Chalk it up to old age - recall I had a birthday last month? Whatev.

Today was great, though. I was attending meeting after meeting, making deals, accomplishing tasks, drafting memos, answering email, managing finances, reconciling the feelings of others, being a good listener, facilitating consultation, making decisions, delegating tasks, and providing encouragement and praise.

Wow. I felt like a real wheeler and dealer. Or at least a good manager. For a change.

And then - it dawned on me. I haven't eaten anything all day!

What's up with that? Am I just better on an empty tank? I recall my amazing focus and productivity during the Fast back in March. Common theme? No food.

So, perhaps I ought to give this whole m.o. a bit more thought. How far can I get on empty? Or close to empty?

Or... was it just that we hit close to 70 degrees today and I got to bask in the sun for 10 minutes or so while walking to my car this morning?

Aaaaaahhhh.

Posted by Delara at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. Little Rock, AR
2. Baton Rouge, LA
3. New Orleans, LA
4. Baltimore, MD
5. Las Vegas, NV
6. Honolulu, HI
7. Alexandria, LA
8. Natchitoches, LA
9. Charleston, WV
10. Fayetteville, AR
11. Frederick, MD
12. Portland, OR
13. Shreveport, LA
14. Sacramento, CA
15. Albuquerque, NM
16. Monroe, LA
17. Hartford, CT
18. San Bernardino, CA
19. Providence, RI
20. New Haven, CT
21. Champaign-Urbana, IL
22. Chicago, IL
23. Lafayette, LA
24. Sheboygan, WI

I just have one word: NOT!

With the exception of cities #4, 6, 11 and 22, I don't think I would ever pick these cities for living purposes. Visiting - certainly! Vacationing - sure. Living??? No thanks.

Sheboygan?!?? Come on now, people!

Posted by Delara at 11:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)