delara, interrupted

So, I was listening to my usual morning commute radio programming (yes, Eric and Kathy in the morning... I admit it!) and the most BIZARRO topic of conversation came up. Well, it was bizarre to me in any case. They were discussing ways in which men offer "to help" with things or give a woman a break on something in exchange for, uh, shall we say physical pleasures. Like, a landlord who says he'll give his tenant a break on the rent if she'll give him a little something something on the side.

First of all, WHAT?!?????

Then, they illustrated their story by talking to a woman who called in to explain that she gets propositioned "all the time" by "friends of my ex who come by the house just to see what I'm up to, what's going on, and they offer to help me with things, like mowing the lawn, or raking leaves, or fixing the plumbing, in exchange for, you know... you know, they're just trying to be helpful..."

?????

Second of all, who the hell has friends like that?!

It was disturbing, man, disturbing...

Posted by Delara at 02:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Increasingly, I find myself immersed in paradox these days. Highs and lows that seem so completely divergent that I am amazed at how they co-exist. For example, the calmness anyone would observe in my outward presentation and the turmoil within. The successes and praise received at work and the criticism with which I (and others in my personal life) pummel myself daily. The health of my body and the ailments of my heart and mind.

Strange paradoxes. And there are more...

Is it just the tint on the glasses I am wearing? Through which I observe the world? My mother used to describe how life was what we perceived it to be and could totally change before our very eyes depending on the glasses through which we look at it. I am not convinced of that anymore.

Am I just struggling with my own lizard? (See Arya's blog and C.S. Lewis' "The Great Divorce" for more detail.) With heaven and hell?

The simplicity of long summer days spent outdoors playing eludes me right now. I feel this sense of longing for things past, for another chance, for contentment. And I know, "Ask whatsoever thou wishest of Him alone; seek whatsoever thou seekest from Him alone. With a look He granteth a hundred thousand hopes, with a glance He healeth a hundred thousand incurable ills, with a nod He layeth balm on every wound, with a glimpse He freeth the hearts from the shackles of grief."

I know, I know. And so many other wonderful bits of spiritual truth meander through my head like voices speaking this or that. First one voice starts up and then fades away as a second becomes slightly louder, then that too diminishes to a whisper and yet another voice picks up. Quotes, books, philosophies - it's all there, and it has all contributed toward who I am today. Significantly.

But I don't even know for what to ask anymore. For the paradoxes to be made clear? Uncomplicated? I think I have just run out of ideas and need to escape for a while. Eh?

Appropriately, my "word of the day" today is vicissitude. Just call me Eeyore.

Posted by Delara at 04:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Good luck to Lacey at the DIY Trunk Show today! And congrats to her for posting her art online again!!

Cheers to Mojan, whom I miss dearly!!

Yo to Farren who is coming to visit next weekend! And we are going to pah-tay!

Happy birthday to baby Vaccaro, who was born this morning in Connecticut! Yay!

TTFN.

Posted by Delara at 02:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Since you asked, I have been working hard at the gym lately and I am loving it! There is something so satisfying about a good workout - the sweaty t-shirt afterwards, the sore muscles, the extra energy. And although I have not lost any weight (SERIOUSLY! not one pound...) I have indeed lost inches. 9 inches, to be exact, from various parts of my body that I measured 4 months ago and again about a week ago. Not bad, I suppose - 9 inches in 4 months. I am trying to see this as a great thing and trying very hard to NOT focus on the fact that I have 12 more inches to go to reach the goals I set for myself, which are all completely reasonable goals. Believe me - I am not trying to be a stick figure in 3D! But I would like to tone a bit more and just be less heavy - to FEEL less heavy. And I already do in some ways - I am amazed at the muscles I can see now!

So, that's that. I am celebrating the newness of having certain pants that fit WAY too big. Who knew!?? Thankfully, during many a shopping spree months and months ago I purchased several things that were just a bit small hoping I would one day fit into them. And now, I do.

If only I could stop eating all those sugar-filled delights! Sigh... but does anyone have a brownie?

Posted by Delara at 08:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I know I will get a lot of flack for what I am about to say, and that is fine. This year is the first year I went to vote. (insert gasp here) If you have been keeping up with my blog, you can calculate (based on my age) how many elections I missed. What was interesting to me about going to vote this morning was how I felt.

I felt lucky and I felt proud.

Those who know me know that I am not by ANY means overly patriotic or even nationalistic. I am grateful for living here and having the life that I have, but I do not attribute it to being "American" per se. I take more pride in being an evolved human being above and beyond my citizenship. Should I move to another country and change citizenship, hypothetically, it would not change how I feel about this country or any other for that matter.

I sincerely take to heart this quote:

"The Great Being saith: Blessed and happy is he that ariseth to promote the best interests of the peoples and kindreds of the earth... It is not for him to pride himself who loveth his own country, but rather for him who loveth the whole world. The earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens." (Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings, p250)

But today, for the first time (ever, perhaps), I felt a sense of pride in being able to vote. Not the ego-based pride that runs rampant in society today, but I just had the sense that it is a privilege to be able to vote freely as we do and to influence (or at least have the illusion that you are able to influence) the governmental affairs of your country. And so, I was proud I was able to vote this morning.

And lucky - lucky to be living in a nation (and an era - let us not forget that it has only been about 83 years since women established their legal right to vote nationally in this country) that allows us to do so.

And yes - the chads cracked me up this morning. As they were punched through my ballot, I thought, "Hm. These darn little rectangles were the cause of all that nonsense four years ago??!? Bizarre."

If you are a registered voter and have not yet voted today, please do.

Posted by Delara at 09:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)