delara, interrupted

"Create and absorb one moment of truth each day."

It seemed easy enough, at first. However, when I actually started to PRACTICE it, I wanted to run screaming into the woods. Or something. Well... not really, but that sure sounds deliciously dramatic! Creating and absorbing one moment of truth each day proved more challenging than I had anticipated. And I have a lot of experience facing my truth, for better or worse.

My first challenge was pacing. Learning to slow down during the past year has affected my general pace and flow such that it takes me longer to process and absorb "deep thoughts" -- such as truths. I found myself wanting more time to absorb each truth I unearthed, more time to reflect upon each gem of learning as though it were a delicious morsel of food I wanted to linger on my palate. "That's what I'm feeling? Hm. I didn't know that." "Oh, I didn't realize THAT was hurting. Wow." After about 3 truths--all of which were met with a good dose of compassion and meditations of loving-kindness--I felt heavy, almost burdened. To do each realization any justice, either by acting upon it or simply noting it in my journal for future reference, I needed more time to just... be.

My second challenge was just BEING, then. During the first few days of practice this week, the question of WHAT TO DO with all that beautiful truth lingered for me. Do I tell people? Do I just notice it as though it's an interesting piece of trash tossed aside, or do I pick it up and throw it away? Or do I frame it and hang it on the wall? Yes... choose the option that brings more love into the world. That was a GREAT reminder for me this week. Very poignant and very helpful in shaping my next steps.

One reflection that kept coming up for me was that finding truth can be dangerous. It felt almost irresponsible, actually, to ask myself to dig around for moments of truth only to have those moments accumulate into what felt like a heavy load to carry. This discomfort, however, was another opportunity to learn something valuable--it is a CHOICE to carry the load. And in fact, it is a choice to even see the truth as a load or a burden altogether! As I often remind people when I teach yoga, when we feel discomfort, we can breathe into it and release it as energy. I believe the same applies to truth.

One of the interesting characteristics of truth, in my experience, is that it wants to be known. It likes to be shouted from the top of a mountain for all the world to hear. When we suppress it, eventually it resurfaces. So why not celebrate it? Why not incorporate quiet moments into our life's flow to just allow the truth to have a home? Even my most painful truths, once expressed or revealed, transform me.

So, what was my most profound truth this week? Ok, I admit it! I really, really like pop music. *wink*