sugar and spice and everything nice
I totally fell off the wagon yesterday. In fact, I hurled myself from the wagon yesterday with vehemence into a relapse. (Damn Krispy Kreme donuts--you know the ones, with the chocolate icing and sprinkles. It's those damn sprinkles. They taunted me!) I must admit that I am not surprised. I had a very stressful, emotional weekend. And the particular kind of stress I felt ALWAYS leads me to sugar.
My relapse experience was odd, funny, fascinating and frightening all at the same time. While I have never taken drugs (of the illegal variety, anyway) and have zero interest in ever doing so, I feel like my experience yesterday (and other experiences in my life) gave me just the smallest insight into what some components of true addiction might be like. The compulsion--the drive (literally, in my case, yesterday) toward something I KNOW is unhealthy/wrong/bad for me--and the uncontrollable stream of conversation in my head convincing me to "just take that drug (or sugar) and it will all feel better" are powerful. While I was fully aware of what I was doing, I could not stop myself. Crazy.
So, today is day one. Again. I'm aiming for 30 days clean. No sugar. Here I go!
Comments
yay, dena! good move. i'm starting to do that again. 4 days and counting!
Posted by: delara | June 1, 2008 10:00 PM
i'm with you on this one. homemade baked chocolate chip cookies were staring me in the face last night and .....kid you not.....i looked away. i was shaking a little, but you know what i mean. i retaliated by shoving some strawberries in my mouth. it seemed to help :)
Posted by: dena | May 28, 2008 01:08 PM
@steve - haha! hilarious. :) it's all good. rental car shuttle people ARE annoying!
@heather - thanks for believing in me! it means a lot. love ya!
Posted by: delara | May 27, 2008 09:12 PM
I feel ya, baby. One day at a time.
I relapsed today, too - on annoying people on the rental car shuttle. ;P
I love you.
Posted by: Steve | May 27, 2008 08:59 PM
I totally feel you. I've had the same experience with television. (Darn you, amazing shows that suck me in!) You can do it, though! I believe in you! :-)
Posted by: Heather | May 27, 2008 05:51 PM