delara, interrupted

I am very (read, PAINFULLY) aware of my shortcomings (Steve would call them character defects) during the first few days of the Fast. It's so interesting - in starting the Fast, it's almost like starting a spiritual detox. The first few days, all the gunk comes to the surface and confronts me regularly. It's pretty cool, but it can be challenging for the people around me. Especially at about 3:00pm in the afternoon when I'm SO CLOSE to being able to eat but the time for breaking Fast is still a couple of hours away. (Interestingly, although it is very challenging for me at about 2-3 in the afternoon, during the hour just before sunset and even at the time I can eat again, I am usually not in any rush. Interesting...) I can get kind of grumpy and short-tempered. In a word, irritable. Yes. It's true. I, Delara, can get irritable. Try to pick your jaw up off the floor and carry on.

HOWEVER... Yesterday, I was tested with a WHOLE other ball of wax. (Goodness, I love American idioms, especially since I didn't really grow up with them.) At work in the afternoon, some SERIOUS sexism smacked me in the face and it was all I could do not to unfurl my "hundred flaming shuriken of rage" upon the perpetrator, ninja-style. (Greg, where were you when I needed you most?!??) Instead, I simply unleashed my mental Sherman Tank and ran over the turd (to borrow Steve's vernacular) several times until he was a chauvinistic pancake on the floor. It was brilliant. In my mind, of course.

So. What was this transgression, you ask? Well. Let me tell you. 'Cause it was a doozy. (Another word I love.) At our store, as in any other coffee shop around the country, we have our three coffees of the day listed on a sign above the brewers. Typically, in addition to the name of the coffee - Colombian, Light Blend, French Roast - we have descriptive words to illustrate a characteristic of the coffee. So, it might say, "Colombian - sweet and mellow," or, "Light Blend - delicate and balanced." Yesterday, our bold coffee was described as "dark and sweet."

Some of you may already see where I am going with this.

A group of about 5-6 golfing buddies/business colleagues/salesman-like middle-aged men came into the store. You know the ones - khaki pants, navy blazers, plaid or checkered shirts. (Fashion emergency clean-up on aisle three, please!) They were acting like a bunch of anachronistic frat boys - well beyond the years appropriate to frat boy behavior but dripping with "I own this place" attitude. Bleh. (Note that these judgments are all part of my character defects. I own that. I do.)

The first ordered his drink and a croissant. Fabulous. The second ordered a cup of coffee. Great. The third, as he guffawed to his "pals" in line behind him, looked at me with a smirk and said, "Dark and sweet, huh? Well, I'll have a large cup of that!" Then he kind of sneered to one of his buddies who was kind of egging him on and kind of embarrassed at the same time. He had this smarmy look on his face, gave me his money, and moved along looking very smug.

Commence the pummeling via mental Sherman Tank, please. PANCAKE! I WANT THE TURD FLATTENED UNTIL HE IS A PANCAKE!!! PANCAAAAAAKE!!!!!

Well. Just about every atom in my body realigned itself with something harder and different than my usual friendly, service-oriented, easy-going demeanor that our customers love so much. Perhaps I raised an eyebrow as well. I don't know. It tends to do that when people say asanine things. It has a mind of it's own. But I delivered his coffee and said, "Thanks," rather tersely. Then I quickly moved on to the next person in line.

Then... I spent the next 15 minutes contemplating various ways of disposing of the pancake on the floor so as not to attract attention from the police. All in my mind, of course.

So, how, exactly, does one address something like that when one is in a situation such that confronting a customer is not an ok thing to do? I mean, other than mental pummeling via Sherman Tank? In a situation that is potentially harmful or overtly inappropriate or disrespectful, my manager would have personally expressed her displeasure with the treatment of our partners and probably would have asked the guy to consider patronizing a different coffee shop in the future. She rocks like that, and I know that because we had another situation in which a customer was inappropriately touching one of my co-workers out in the open - like, subtly putting his hand on her lower back while calling her "honey." Not cool.

But when the transgression is based on innuendo and subtlety? It's much harder to confront someone because there is so much room for that person to deny that anything inappropriate happened. It reminds me of conversations I have had with friends about overt vs. subtle racism and which is worse. In the South, there are many, many overtly racist elements - billboards, governmental policy, items carried in stores, etc. In the North, racism is much more subtle and, therefore, harder to discern. Which is why a lot of people typically characterize the South as being "racist" wholesale and the North as being "tolerant." Not so, my friends. Racism is alive and well pretty much everywhere. Wake up and smell the Aunt Jemima.

Sigh.

In the end, I was very pleased with the fact that I conducted myself with nothing less than grace under fire and that I remained true to myself despite this turd. I had a great day at work, I enjoyed my time with my partners, and we had fun. My task now is to ponder how to tactfully confront something like that in the future.

In the meantime, anyone know where I can find a very large spatula?