delara, interrupted

Wow. I am humbled by the experiences I am having. My internet access is only sporadic right now, so I was just able to check in on my blog today after having posted my thoughts a few days ago. What totally gets me is that it was as though I already HEARD the comments that were left on my last post before I read them today because I totally reflected on the same kinds of things. And there are two beautiful things about that. One is that it means I'm connected to God's will at the moment--I'm letting God run the show for me and I'm learning how to flow. Two is that I'm surrounded by amazing friends who feel like family and we all get to grow together. And that rocks.

So... to follow-up on my observation about the need to hold onto myself, I decided to just practice that. "Acting into right thinking," as Steve might say, was the way I've gone about it. So, I let go a little. I let go of the issues that were clearly being triggered by what's happening around me at the moment--issues from childhood, issues about my dad (who is in Hong Kong at the moment, and that kind of blows me away!), issues about how "other-centered" I can be at times. And I decided to just be me and do whatever I felt like doing without worrying about how it might affect others around me. And a few really cool things happened.

I felt okay, for one thing, about not "being there for" the people around me at any given moment. After all, the minutes of the day are my minutes too, eh? So, I've spent my days doing what I needed to, with an eye toward my responsibilities as well. And it has felt great, and I've been catching some awesome waves in the process. For another thing, an amazing confirmation happened. Out of the blue, on a drive back from an evening activity, my friend totally verbalized and acknowledged all the little things that had been happening all week that had been pushing my buttons and she held herself to account in a way that I really appreciated. It just confirmed for me that I had taken the right path - providing for myself what I needed and not focusing so much on another person's actions, intentions, etc. - such that whatever it was I needed was ultimately provided for me. This is a stellar example of being in God's will. I did what I needed to do and I let go of those things I had no control over anyway. And the results were beautiful and confirming of my desire to simply be about my own life and path and no one else's.

Incidentally, surfing and connecting with the energy of the ocean has helped me along this path. It's a very centering and empowering experience for me, especially that I got up SUPER early to do some surfing at dawn yesterday and that required getting over some fears (not being able to see clearly into the water) and summoning some energy at a time of day that is generally not my "alive" time. But it's been great. The water is beautiful, and although I have a killer bruise on my chin from my board and a few sore muscles, I feel so alive.

So, yeah. Being "aligned" with the universe (as I like to call it sometimes) is a great feeling. And it has led to some other realizations about other areas of my life in which I need to just let things flow and not push myself too hard. It's all good.

And it is--it is definitely all good.