it's c-c-c-cold outside
Days and days have passed without a word. All those days wonder, has anybody noticed our silent passing? I sure have, although I am perhaps better informed about why there hasn't been a word in all that time. And in truth, they have not been all that silent.
We go through cycles, yes? Ups and downs, activity and rest, introspection and exposition, listening and talking. I have not felt like talking much. Not that there hasn't been anything to talk about - on the contrary! I wake each morning, though, with the knowledge that it all makes sense in my head and pretty much only there. Once I begin to share with another, it all becomes meaningless mumbling, and it doesn't ring true in my ears. Strange, but that's how it seems.
I will say this, however. I had such a great time in NYC. There is such an energy to that great city, and at the same time a sadness. I enjoyed many moments just watching people - on the subway, at the bookstore, in offices, on the street, in restaurants, at a concert. (A must for anyone's "before I die I have to..." list is seeing a concert at the Garden. Especially an 80's synth-pop band that is still amazingly talented and energetic after 20+ years.) In watching all these dear souls go about their business, one thing became crystal clear to me - similar to the realization and experience I had on the beach in Florida back in July. That thing was that we are all so perfectly imperfect, and in being so we are exactly what we are meant to be. Our nobility lies in the fact of our being, and that, my friends, is a glorious thing. A gift on even the most ordinary of days.
I got to meet with a couple of photo editors out there, just to explore the possibilities of freelancing. Good contacts, nothing solid. That's cool - it felt so good just being "out there" exploring. Yes, really good. And I had a BLAST spending time with my cuz! She is such an amazing woman. Film editor, artist, wonderful companion... shall I go on? She really helped ground me about a lot of things - reminded me about what is important to me. Nice.
And now, back in Chi-town, I'm looking forward to the next adventure. Rather, I'm looking forward to the next leg of this journey I have taken up. It might lead to more days passing by without any words - at least any words on screen or paper - but I am doing my work, and enjoying the process in the meantime (to the best of my abilities) and I'm open to what the path ahead will bring to me while I'm directing that path in the here and now. It's all good. For real.
Comments
There are no ordinary days.
Posted by: george | December 21, 2005 12:20 PM
I was explaining to an exgirlfriend last night that wether good or bad (as in relationships ending as what our talk was about) the most important thing is that you were given the chance to have that experience, that human experience. That human experience can't always be sunshine and roses. But it's the experience of feeling and discovering emotions very deeply that is the gift. Out of these deep emotional experiences we learn and grow, again wether the experience was good or bad. I think if we as people cherished experience more than our pain or gain (i.e. looked beyond ourselves, or lived with less ego) we might be overall more happy just being able to breath or see or smell or hear or taste and feel everyday life. I feel tremendous joy for you in saying/realizing that you know that our imperfections make us, us. Ahh I hear the self just folding under the weight of that acceptance. I think I've given up thinking that we all have something we are meant to do except to simply to live and experience. Most of us are probably born with many talents that seem to guide our lives in one way or another. I think many times along the path we transition from one pursuit to another. Change definatly always is happening. Looking for the next avenue is the most natural thing I think people do. Again, it's simply the experience of coming to the end and finding a new beginning all over again that really matters. Who wants to die knowing they didn't get the opportunity to experience this or that feeling? Shoot, not I said the squirrel!
Posted by: Chompy the Squirrel | December 20, 2005 04:32 PM