delara, interrupted

From the Baha'i Writings: "Truthfulness is the foundation of all the virtues of the world of humanity. Without truthfulness, progress and success in all of the worlds of God are impossible for a soul. When this holy attribute is established in man, all the divine qualities will also become realized."

I have been reflecting on how often we are faced with moments of choice about truthfulness - being truthful with others and, perhaps more importantly, ourselves. It seems so easy for us to choose not to be truthful with others, in little and big ways. For example, we may not be truthful when someone asks, "How are you?" and we reply with, "Okay," or "Great!" when really we just had a crappy meeting with our boss and are feeling angry, annoyed or just down. Pooneh and I were talking today about how people can be so casual about timing. We were laughing about how the two of us usually don't say, "I'll be there in a minute!" but rather, "I'll be there in about 7 minutes!" regardless of the fact that it sounds dorky. Just a matter of being honest, I guess - or precise. Or ridiculous. Take your pick.

But what struck us the most as we had our conversation was the example we (in general) set for others - particularly our kids. What message do we give them when they see us "fib" a little to get out of trouble with someone? On the phone with our neighbor: "Oh, I completely lost track of time and couldn't make it over," when really we had plans with someone else. Or when we exaggerate in order to gain some sympathy with some technical support person - "I have been waiting for HOURS on hold!" And what message do we give each other - our partners, friends, family - when we tell "little" white lies? Or worse, when we say, "Yes, I will do that," but then we don't do it?

Then tackling the whole issue of being honest with ourselves - well, that's a whole other dissertation and something I'm still in process about.

Yet, we have to have some flexibility somewhere, right? We can't be honest about EVERYTHING, can we? We can't know everything about ourselves and others, can we?

I have learned over the years that the world is gray - there is very little black and white. Spiritually, there are principles that I hold true and there are laws that are clear in terms of how they determine our behaviors. But the rest? All gray. As a result, I often have more questions than answers, and by design that expands my awareness and hopefully my depth of understanding. Is truthfulness one of those gray areas, though? Hm... I'm not so sure.