crash
I *finally* saw the movie "Crash" last night. And I'm so glad, even though my entire body was tense throughout the movie. It's a good thing I was watching it alone! I would have completely injured the arm of whoever was sitting next to me otherwise.
Here's the thing, though. It wasn't the racism that was stressing me out. (Although, admittedly, there were several scenes that were impossible for me to watch without feeling sick to my stomach.) It was the anger--out in the open anger, seething below the surface anger, hidden behind sarcasm, verbal and physical attacks, addiction and other ways in which we separate ourselves from others. Anger, along with its trusty companion fear, was the quality in the characters and their actions that most distressed me. And I am still reflecting on how powerful an emotion it can be.
Sandra Bullock's character (Jean Cabot) had a pivotal line in the movie that might have gone unnoticed because it is so subtle and in a scene that is not as shocking as many others. Nevertheless, it encapsulates the quality to which I was so strongly reacting. She is talking on the phone with one of her closest friends and says:
"I am angry... Yes, at [the men who stole my car]. Yes at them, the police, at Rick, at Maria, at the dry cleaners who destroyed another blouse today, at the gardener who keeps overwatering the lawn... I just thought that... I just thought that I would wake up today and I would feel better, you know? But I was still mad, and I realized, I realized that it had nothing to do with my car being stolen. I wake up like this every morning. I am angry all the time and I don't know why, Carol, I don't know why..."
Yup. And I believe there are millions of people who walk around feeling this exact same thing every single day. They just don't recognize it. They don't see it in the way they flip off or yell at the slow driver in front of them on the freeway, or in the way they chew out the waitress for bringing the wrong order, or in the way they glare at the passenger on the train who bumped up against them and invaded their "personal space". They don't recognize their sarcasm, competitiveness, stonewalling, or withdrawal (yes, withdrawal) as signs of anger deep below the surface of their consciousness. They don't even realize the effects their rampant raging emotions have on their body. Or maybe they do recognize it but think it's perfectly normal to rant and rave about the little and big things in life.
And this, more than anything, makes me feel very sad. Not in a judgmental way, though. Believe me, I understand the anger. I have lived that way too. And I've seen it destroy lives, demolish families and completely separate an individual from any sense of spiritual reality. The kind of anger that surrounds us daily is palpable to me, and it makes me feel sad because it indicates an unawareness of our true nature and capacity as precious human beings. Perfectly imperfect, but precious nonetheless.
What is it that we're so angry about anyway?
Ironically, the anger that motivates us to keep ourselves separate from everything and everyone seems to stem from a desperate need for connection and attraction--love. Underneath it all, we all desire connection, love and acceptance. But we keep ourselves so separate that we have no real way to achieve these things. And so, we resort to anger the way a toddler might resort to crankiness or tantrums when he has no way of communicating something he is feeling or thinking.
Again, a key line from the movie illustrates what happens as a result of our separateness and anger. This time, it is delivered by Don Cheadle's character (Det. Graham Waters) in the opening scene:
"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know... You brush past people, people bump into you. But in LA nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something."
Yup. Deep.
All I can say is kudos to director/writer Paul Haggis and his co-writer Robert Moresco for accomplishing what they wanted to--make a film that stimulates self-examination and conversation about the very difficult yet important and real issues of racism, justice and morality.
Comments
aw, andrew... thanks for saying that. and i'm glad it meant something for you. if you're game, i'd be into having some kind of group discussion on the movie - we could coordinate... have your people call my people.
Posted by: delara | October 8, 2005 01:32 AM
Late on scene, I know...but I just wanted to say:
Wow. Thank you for posting this.
Posted by: Andrew | October 7, 2005 11:53 PM
very perceptive observation, brett. yeah, regional and cultural differences really do play into it all. at the bottom, though, isn't it interesting that in either case it makes us feel mad?
Posted by: delara | October 6, 2005 10:47 PM
You know, I've actually thought about this a bit based on what Don Cheadle's character said, and this is a regional thing (cultural influences interlaced throughout, for sure) as much as anything else. I grew up in the western U.S., and the attitude here is most definitely, "I need my personal space," which may or may not have something to do with originating from that whole pioneer cowboy thing. But space is something that is important to me, and when other people invade that space it goes beyond uncomfortable, it's assaulting. It makes me mad. And I consider myself a friendly people-person, this is something different. People have different personal boundaries in verbal exchanges that I associate with different regions too, and since I travel a bit (as do you, D :) ) this manifests itself all over the place. When I lived in the midwest, I often felt affronted the way people approached me. NY? Forgeddaboutit. In an informal unscientific poll, the other westerners who work with me also perceive this difference. So I was thinking the opposite of what Don Cheadle's character was, that this invasion of space was the root of the problem, rather than the lack of shared space. I know this wasn't the point of your post, btw, but thanks for getting me thinking anyway.
Posted by: brett | October 6, 2005 07:49 PM
I liked that Sandra Bullock's character said that stuff - to me, it helped point out that, while race was a big theme running through the movie, it's not all about race.
We go through life, some of us being angry, some of us being frustrated. Sometimes, that anger and frustration bubbles over and flows onto others. And sometimes, others assume that anger and frustration to be a reflection of the color of one's skin or culture. Sometimes, it is a cultural thing. Sometimes, probably a lot of the time, it's more because someone's having a bad day, or a bad life. But the assumption that it's tied in to skin color or culture perpetuates the disease of racism.
Another example of confusing culture and individual is seen in the car accident between the cop and the woman who's dealing with her family member being in the hospital.
Posted by: shokufeh | September 30, 2005 09:27 PM
Hey Delara You can ask Lacey, I was literally freaking out during this movie. I felt that it assaulted me through my senses. I thought it was interesting how it showed that there are not "good people" and "bad people", and that we all have some sort of racially motivated beliefs in some way and acknowledging that is very helpful in keeping yourself from hurting others. There were so many themes to this movie... I had nightmares after watching it though.. I wish I hadn't seen it in a public place. I would have liked to fast forward through the sexually abusive portions, it was too much for me.
Posted by: Myk | September 30, 2005 04:22 PM
Delora, I think about anger and sadness all the time!! it's SO fun! arrange a coffee meetup to discuss anger I'm there. o.k. actually it's more really sad than fun, but I think anger is equally as powerfull as love and those seem to be the most dominant emotions in the human psyche. I think that it's interesting that people lead thier lives in persuit of these two emotions, it seems like that is what's running the world..anger or love..
Posted by: Brian | September 30, 2005 08:39 AM
this is why i love you delara - you watch a movie i've analyzed to the point that i thought i'd reached its depths. and then you write about relevant themes that hadn't yet occurred to me.
and on the subject of anger... maybe this is just re-iterating what you already said... but after reading this entry, i was reflecting on how anger's manifestations of sarcasm, withdrawal, competition and defensiveness are sometimes ways for a person to ask the world, "do you see me? do i exist to you? and do you see me the way i see myself?"
Posted by: kari | September 30, 2005 12:35 AM
hey mouzhan - although yes, we have not met in person, i know so many people who know you that you are, in fact, a friend to me. :) (say hi to thumper for me, btw.) i'm so touched and happy that this entry spoke to you. although it was the movie that motivated me to write these thoughts, i reflect on this often - especially when it comes to my own state of mind and feelings about life. in an ongoing process of spiritual growth, it behooves us to constantly examine how our feelings translate into action in our lives. and in that examination, what often comes to light is how those underlying feelings can either propel us forward along our path in life or mire us in self and destruction.
anyway, i could wax on about this forever. would love to meet you sometime! and stop by the blog anytime.
Posted by: delara | September 29, 2005 09:57 PM
Hi Dalara. You don't know me but I'm Thumper's wife and Lacey's friend. Anyway, I read these blogs from time to time because they're really interesting. This entry is magnificent enough to comment even though you don't know me! Thank you so much for writing it.
There isn't much of anything I read/hear these days that I haven't heard before. It's the same things but with a different twist or new angle. This was...wow. Your line about how sarcasm, competitiveness, stonewalling and withdrawal as signs of anger was really eye opening. Thank you so much!
Posted by: Mouzhan Mangum | September 29, 2005 09:00 PM
I missed Crash in theaters. Now I hear I missed it hitting video. Thanks for the heads up!
Posted by: ez | September 28, 2005 10:48 PM
Incisive post, D. Thanks for the links and the heads-up. I'll have to check out that film now.
I think you hit on why we're all so angry: separation. Western society allows/forces people to seal themselves away. In their cars and their suburban homes they mirror the hermetic seals on their processed foods.
But things point to a quiet revolution as some wake up and see that there is a more natural way to live, and it takes communities of people to really make it work.
I won't hog anymore of your blogspace. We should chat about this offline. :)
Posted by: george | September 28, 2005 03:28 PM