insane in the brain
I have had massive amounts of fleeting thoughts fly through my brain in the last couple of weeks. About what, you ask? Pretty much anything and everything, I say. You name it, I have probably thought it. Life, death, love, anger, anxiety, joy, challenges, struggles, victories, etc. All fair game in my head.
It has gotten to the point where if I don't engage in a cathartic writing process, I think my head will literally burst.
Not that the thoughts are bad or negative - actually, on the contrary. I have a lot of questions that have yet to find their answers. I have a lot of things for which I am grateful and have been reflecting on those joys of life. And I have realized there are some things about which I am grieving because I feel a sense of loss. Just so many thoughts! And I yearn for the time and opportunity to capture it all.
Forgive me for not disclosing more of the details here. While I am known as "she who will answer just about anything honestly if asked a question" I worry that if I were to share these intimate thoughts - most of which are completely ephemeral - someone might assign a value statement to me based on those thoughts. And that statement may or may not be true two minutes from now as my thoughts and feelings evolve.
But what I am absolutely LOVING about this experience and my reflection on it is the ALIVENESS I feel. The humanness. The gratitude for having the freedom of thought that I have. Progressing through life on the physical plane is messy at best - gloriously messy, but messy nonetheless. It is nice to know I can play in the mud when I want and learn so much about myself in the process.
I am happy to share more details, if you'd like. Just email or call me. You know the drill - delaraz at aol dot com. (or you can use my gmail address: imsmartypantz at gmail dot com)