delara, interrupted

Soooo... um... I have noticed that I am a bit more, um, raw these days. Interestingly, my body reflects that today. Thanks to some FABULOUS workouts earlier this week, I am sore and raw in places I didn't realize existed on my body. Like just above my hip bones - those obliques will never look at me the same way. And my adductors - hoo boy! I have been waddling more than walking for the past couple of days.

But the soreness has spread into my mind and heart too. It has been outwardly noticeable, I am sure. So, once again, I find myself facing an interesting reflection: that to which I have been most sensitive (namely, negativity) is what I have been generously spreading around myself. (How do you like THEM apples?!) And while I understand intuitively the dynamics at play, I am not pleased about them.

To illustrate: much as I don't particularly care for John Gray's stuff (Mars vs. Venus and the like) I have an image from a book of his that fits these dynamics perfectly. Imagine that people were U-shaped beings. Literally, like the letter U with legs. Then imagine that you are stuffing things down one side of the U - things like one's daily interactions, stress, environment, responsibilities, etc. Eventually, that side of the U gets pretty full and can't help but travel up the other side and spill out. Onto others most of the time. Get the image?

So, that which we (I) experience day in and day out (let's call it "input" broadly) inevitably affects the way in which we (I) contribute to the experience of others (let's call that "output") or even just to the world in general. Cycles, right? Could be positive and uplifting ones, could be negative and poisonous ones.

I know, I know - this is not anything profound. It's more like, "well, yeah! duh!" But I had lost knowing of this and therefore lost vision of how to counteract these cycles - or, rather, transform these cycles. Somewhere at the bottom of the U-shaped being, I believe there is a choice that can be made to transform negative into positive before it goes up the other side. Through prayer, mindfulness, balance - and many other means. Even just a yoga class.

Hopefully, I will be able to tap into that place soon and move some of this "soreness" up and out of the U but not onto others. Maybe a good flick would help - "Bend It Like Beckham" anyone?