confession
Ok, I admit that I was in a slightly rancid mood yesterday. Or, rather, earlier today. Sorry about that. Certain things really throw me for a loop and then it's hard for me to get my bearings again for a while. That happened. Someone threw in my face one of my faults - actually, my biggest one perhaps - in a way that did not allow for any discussion, reflection or even apology on my part. It was kind of like, "You suck at this and badly need to work on it. Next?" Add to that some serious hyperbole about the frequency with which I flaunt this hideous shortcoming and it just put me in a rotten mood.
And really, that's kind of weird for me because all in all I'm pretty honest about those things at which I am no good. Many times I am the first to admit my wrongdoings or flaws. For example, being on time. The euphemism would be to say that I am overly optimistic about what I can actually accomplish in a given period of time. The reality is that I am late to things (meetings, doctor appointments, social events, etc.) about 75% of the time. Maybe even 80%. I have a very loose sense of time. And because I acknowledge this doesn't mean I excuse myself for it. I don't - it's something I work on constantly.
It is precisely because I "own" my issues and continually strive to overcome them that makes having them thrown at me with no recourse all that much more of a sting.
Oh well. Tomorrow's another day. That is, if I wake up on time for it.
Comments
you said it, brotha. we fabulous people are worth the time.
Posted by: delara | July 17, 2004 05:04 PM
Look. If my sistah is a few minutes late there's probably a very good reason. She's fabulous. Fabulous people have more to get together and more than make up for it when they do arrive at tehir destination. In the meantime: whoever is waiting for said fabulous person could perhaps be spending a little extra time getting themsmelves ready. Ahem.
Posted by: Marc | July 16, 2004 09:04 PM
good points, you two. i love how aware and in touch my girlfriends are! yes, we cannot take other people's issues personally, and if they choose to own our issues, well that's really their issue. i'm down with that.
Posted by: delara | July 14, 2004 04:32 PM
I don't know, D. I don't think you need a reason for reacting the way you did. Even if you do have issues you need to work out, there's gotta be some underlying issues for people who can't pay direct compliments. Just as you might need to take something less personally, your friends may need to stop trying to have the upper-hand in your friendship (which, I think, is what someone is doing when they can't just say "you are beautiful" and instead say "nice to see you wearing something else than usual"). So continue to improve yourself, but don't be afraid to let a good friend know how their actions make you feel, too.
Posted by: +mojan. | July 14, 2004 12:45 PM
If I may - I think that's the clear difference and what hurts... you owning your issues vs someone else owning them. Cuz uh, they're your issues to own, no one elses. Judge not, lest ye be judged and all...
Posted by: Abby | July 13, 2004 10:09 AM