delara, interrupted

Judy, could you please come in here and take a memo? Thanks.

It should read,

To: Everyone
From: Delara

Got that so far? Ok. Then,

Dear Everyone,

Please note that from this day forward, you may no longer use me as your punching bag, either collectively or individually. I will not take any of the sh*t you throw at me from time to time. Passive aggression, unfounded blaming, subtle criticism and false assumptions are no longer welcome in my relationship with you. I recognize that you need to unload or vent, but the difference between transferring one's issues to another and simply expressing what they are has become painfully clear to me. I will no longer serve this purpose for you, nor will I take on your issues because you don't see them yourself.

Do you think it's too harsh, Judy? You're right - it's just honest. Ok.

It is true that reality is only our perception of our experience with reality. This is partially why it is always a bad idea to assume you actually know something about another person's reality.

I realize that these unkind actions may have been overlooked in the past because I lovingly turned my head the other way, understanding that in our imperfect moments we make mistakes. But, it seems a growing number of you have been colluding to push me into being or feeling responsible for that which I am not.

So, please keep in mind that while I am happy to offer a shoulder on which you can cry, an ear to listen to your woes, and hugs to share some compassion as your friend, the next time you have the urge to place your burdens square on my shoulders, I advise you to think twice. And instead find a good therapist.