mr. magoo
Notice the paucity of entries this week? Paul and I had an amazing experience at a couples' seminar this past weekend. No, it had nothing (or at least very little) to do with sex and everything to do with understanding each other better, learning some tools for communication and problem-solving, and helping solidify our foundation. It was SO eye-opening for me, and I seriously recommend it for anyone about to get married (or into a committed relationship), looking to start a relationship, just married or who has been married for a long time. Basically anyone who is looking to improve his/her relationship in any way.
It's based on "<a href="http://imagotherapy.com/">Imago Therapy</a>" and although I had a super hard time relating to his books (Getting the Love You Want, Keeping the Love You Find) the first I read through them the workshop/seminar made everything make so much sense!
So, I have been processing and ruminating on our experience and what we "learned" and have been practicing this week (again, not related to sex) and have developed a new appreciation for people who have been married for decades. Not that we didn't know this before, but it takes work - daily, often concentrated, hard work. And it doesn't ever stop. You don't get to ever put the relationship into cruise control and coast - at least not for more than an evening.
It's all good though. I understand Paulie in a whole new way (insert cheesy background music here) and I think he has a new appreciation for why I'm so difficult. (Moi? Never!) So, it's all good.
If you want more details, I'm happy to share - y'all know how open I am about these things. So, just ask.
Comments
it was so amazing. like i said, i'm happy to share more details offline sometime. and i highly recommend the experience.
Posted by: delara | January 16, 2004 11:27 AM
I am such a dork. I completely forgot to ask you about the seminar last weekend! It's good to hear that it was so ...productive? I love seeing people so proactive about sustaining their marriages.
Posted by: lacey | January 16, 2004 10:02 AM
amen, sister and brother! so true, bill - thank you for reminding me of that. yes, there are amazing moments in and among all the "work" - moments that move us, moments that bring us to happy tears, moments that exhilarate us. it's all good.
Posted by: delara | January 16, 2004 09:47 AM
Bill, you said it. That's exactly right.
Posted by: +mojan. | January 15, 2004 10:32 PM
Now you and I have both talked in our respective weblogs about all the work involved in a marriage, but there's a balance. Let's both not forget what we get after doing all that work: moments of great sweetness, moments when you are not alone, moments where there is this complete understanding that surpasses words; moments where you know the two of you can withstand anything because of the strength you have built. You create a space where, whatever happens during the day, you can enter that space and find love, compassion, healing; and loneliness is left outside. What's a little work if that's the reward?
Posted by: Bill | January 15, 2004 09:58 PM