delara, interrupted

I fully realize, now, that I was not meant to be a participant in life. In anything, for that matter - at meetings, at work, at conferences, in my family. I don't know if it's ADD or my five-year-old-like tendencies, ants in my pants, or what. I cannot just sit and listen passively. Taking notes doesn't quite cut it. Walking around is good - I am still listening. Talking to other people about the topic of discussion at the moment is even better. But ultimately, I need more than that. I need to be behind the scenes, running around with a headset on and organizing things. Coordinating. Planning. Troubleshooting. Yeah, baby!

And it's not that consultation or discussions are boring - on the contrary. Especially this year at Convention - great consultation, especially about youth and their role as future leaders.

And I definitely should not be someone who people seek out, wanting to talk with me because of the role I fill. The painful truth is that it does not feel right at all! I am not the frontrunner - I am the sidekick. Sidekicks get to coordinate, at least a little. Right?

Bottom line, I need to be in the mix, but not in the spotlight, thank you very much.