She can tell something’s up
So it’s our second to last day of living in our rental townhouse. Hooray for that! What is not hooray, however, is the amount of packing yet to be accomplished. I was exhausted last night, as I dumped the contents of one of my bathroom drawers into a bag, just THINKING about having to organize all this crap. It seems that ever since my 2nd trimester, I’ve just let things get disorganized and messy and now I am about to pay the price.
Anyways, I digress. Navab can certainly tell something is going on. We don’t have our regular routine–she can’t lay on the floor and roll around because there are boxes and dust everywhere. We also don’t have cable tv anymore, so no Shushybye. I was wondering what all of this was meaning to her when last night, she woke up twice in the middle of the night. Like, fully awake, which is unusual. Usually just a couple of times because she’s hungry, but this time at 3am and 5am she woke up and started wiggling. What’s funny about this is that of course, it’s dark. So I look down in the dark and see her little eyes staring up at my face like, “You still here, Mama?” Then she went back to eating and I fell asleep again. Thankfully she never really got whiney when she woke up so I didn’t actually need to play with her, she just wiggled around in the dark looking at things. Such a cutie.
Confidence
The longer I live, the more I realize that confidence is the cornerstone for functioning effectively in society. Never has this been more true than in parenting. I have talked with so many other parents who have made their lives miserable because they listened to other people’s advice (which there is a LOT of) and tuned out their own instincts.
Co-sleeping, for example, is a really good example of this. I was talking with a friend who has a baby that is a couple of months younger than Navab. He and his wife aren’t sleeping because the baby wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat (and the mom is b-feeding). So when the baby wakes up, they go over to the crib, get the baby up, and the mom goes somewhere to feed the baby. Why the heck don’t they just keep the baby in the bed with them? So I asked, and I got an answer that is similar to many that I’ve gotten before–so-and-so told them they were going to smother their baby when they rolled over on them, so they needed a special bed insert thing before the baby could safely sleep with them, but the mom can’t just roll over and feed the baby if they’re in a special bed insert thing, so she STILL has to wake up and go somewhere to feed the baby.
Isn’t it just easier if you keep the baby next to you? Yes. Will you roll over on your baby? No you will not. Trust me. You won’t. My friend wants to try this, but they keep getting scared by stories of so-and-so’s mother’s friend’s cousin’s monkey’s owner’s neighbor hearing a story on the news once of someone who once rolled onto their baby in the bed. Ridiculous.
This is also the same with breastfeeding (you know, my new favorite topic). If I listened to others, I wouldn’t even be trying to breastfeed, she’d already be eating formula. But instead I’m breaking my neck trying to keep only b-milk in my baby’s body until she’s 6 months old. Others keep trying to convince me to “just feed her formula” but I decided ages ago that I wanted to do this for 6 months. I need SUPPORT, not SUGGESTIONS. Most of you guys who are reading this are not guilty in any way of this, but seriously…it’s damaging to one’s confidence to have the easy-way-out constantly presented. I can outline for you the reasons why I’m being thick-headed about this:
- I work all day and want to take every opportunity to bond with my baby, even if I’m not with her
- Breastmilk is really tasty and is the perfect food for her
- Breastmilk has antibodies that will protect her from some common infections
- It’s really easy
- She likes it a lot
- It keeps her asleep at night
- It keeps my body from getting messed up to express milk
But really, I’ll go back to the first bullet: I can’t be with her and it’s killing me. But by expressing milk, I can feel a little closer to her anyways. And her to me, really. So this isn’t really all about me.
So take this opportunity to consider how you can boost someone else’s confidence. It’s much more empowering than offering suggestions you think are helpful.
Starting Fresh
Yesterday was pretty much terrible. It all kind of started the day before when, in the day care’s daily Navab report, they wrote in red ink MORE MILK PLEASE. This freaked me out because we’re exclusively breastfeeding, we have zero stash, and I pretty much can only get so much outta me. You know?
Anyways, I thought long and hard about supplementing Navab’s diet with formula. Pretty much, it seemed like the only solution because I was pumping 4 times a day (3 of those times at work) and simply didn’t know how many more times I could fit in a session every day. So I decided to send a container of powdered formula that we received (in the mail, for free, of Enfamil) as a “just in case” backup. I know that many many people give their kids formula, and I think that’s okay. That’s their choice and I respect it. For us, however, from the getgo we did not want to do it. There are many reasons for this too, but my primary reason for not wanting to buy formula is because of the way formula is pushed on the developing world. Shame on you, Nestle.
I called a lactation consultant and she worked with me for half and hour over the phone to make a plan. She expressed her confidence in me that I could do this, that we could change the schedule and get a hospital-grade pump and it will all be okay. I felt so relieved. I went over to the store, got the pump, tried it out, hugged the lactation consultant, and went back to work.
And then, it started to rain outside. A lot. And Houstonians don’t know how to drive in bad weather, even though many of them have 4wd vehicles. Sigh. So on the traffic map were many accidents and the entire way to the daycare was red (very very slow). Myk called me at that moment to tell me he was running late to pick up Navab. Oh dear.
That was at about 5:15pm. At 6, the day care charges you a dollar per minute that you’re late. He finally made it there at 6:30, and according to him, she was screaming in a “weird” way. This is odd because she really doesn’t cry all that often. But then he told me that they were trying to feed her milk, and she didn’t want it, and he said it smelled weird…
Crap.
Meanwhile, I am stuck in the traffic that Myk was stuck in, and I take what I thought would be an easier way home, only the roads were flooded in 2 places and I couldn’t get through. Myk is STILL stuck in traffic trying to get home. I’m stuck in traffic. When I talk to him on the phone I hear our poor baby crying. Jackass drivers are not letting me in where I need to go (I’ve never wished harm on someone before, but lady driving the white suburban who squeezed past me intentionally and then wouldn’t look at me when I was trying to yell at her–you SUCK and karma is a you-know-what). But FINALLY I made it home, and he made it home, and I fed Navab, and all was well in the world again.
Turns out, that funny-smelling bottle was sitting on the counter. I decide to taste it to see what the big deal was…and I spat it out. HORRIBLE!!!! It was sour! And rancid! And I wouldn’t feed that to ANYONE let alone a baby! Oh my God, I was so revolted.
Man, what a long, awful day.
Today I woke up and decided I was going to start fresh. I am on the new schedule that the lactation consultant designed for me. I have my new fancy pump. I am going to spend the weekend with my baby. I’m going to enjoy the sunshine and the company of friends. And I asked the day care to throw away that awful powdered stuff. It will all be good.
4.5 month update
Here’s your Navab update of the month! Okay I’m not regular about it, but I figure whenever something monumental happens I’ll just tell folks about it then.
Navab has been in day care now since August 1. So far, it’s been fine. When I drop her off she doesn’t cry, when I pick her up she doesn’t look like she has been crying. So I think they are responding to her needs adequately. Me? I’m feeling better about leaving her all day, but some days are easier than others. I’m learning that I just have to savor the time that I do have with her, which I am trying to do to the fullest.
They give us these sheets of paper at the end of each day at day care, and it tells when and how much the baby eats, when and how long each nap is, and when the diapers are changed and what was in them (this is important info for parents, lemme tell ya). She’s doing everything normally, so I think it’s all good! Big relief! In fact, I’m pretty sure the day care is better about changing her diapers than I am because I usually go through 2 outfits each day (not including nighttime wear). She usually is wearing what I dropped her off in that morning, so that’s a plus.
She’s still rolling over like crazy, so much so that she does it in her sleep. She rolls herself over on her belly to sleep if she’s in her crib, and then kind of freaks out when she wakes up that way. But when she sleeps in the bed with us, she’s tucked up right next to me and it pretty much is the nicest thing in the world to look down in the middle of the night to see that she’s sleeping soundly with her hand around my finger. So cute.
LOTS of smiling, LOTS of giggling. Still hates the car seat, but I can distract her now with toys enough to keep her from freaking out.
Also, we’ve been using our stroller more often since walking on the bayou trail isn’t really all that conducive to babywearing. I’ve been hoping too that Navab will start to enjoy [what little] nature [we have in Houston], but she doesn’t like being strapped down into the stroller facing forward with no Mommy or Daddy in her face. So usually we can only make our walk a mile before things get ugly. Hopefully she will start to enjoy herself soon though because I am pretty much enamored with our stroller. It has a computer, brakes, and a thousand zippered compartments. It’s ready for any conceivable weather condition. It has inflatable tires. This thing is SERIOUS. Can’t wait to use it more!!!
Weekend at the Beach
This weekend we took Navab to Port Aransas, TX (near Corpus Christi), for her first beach experience. Let me back up and say that we were actually co-conspiring with our good friend Greg. He wanted to surprise his wife and one of ourclosest friends, Naseem, for their 2nd anniversary. She was scheduled to be in Port Aransas with her family and he was stuck in NYC with “work.” Well, I buddy passed him down to Houston and then the 4 of us drove down there on Friday night. We really surprised Nas, which was the whole idea. A fringe benefit was that she could meet Navab, and Navab could meet the beach, and we could all enjoy each other’s company.
The verdict: she had a lot of fun in the pool, but not so much at the beach. I think a combination of a paranoid/unprepared mom, intense sunshine, and ridiculously hot weather really made the poor gal annoyed. See, I thought we’d stick the umbrella in the sand, lay out a towel for her to chill on, and she’d have a blast. Well, we put the umbrella in the sand, layed out the towels for her, and she immediately grabbed a fitful of sand and then started to put that same fist in her mouth. Noo-oo-ooooo! So mommy poured freezing cold drinking water all over baby’s hands. Not a good way to start, and it really just didn’t get better. Oh well, it was a great weekend.
Today we finally closed on the house! We’ll be spending a lot of time in it, as we’re tapped out. Heh.
Finally
I would just like to say how happy I am that we are closing on this house tomorrow. Myk and I have wanted, pretty much ever since we got married, to own a home together. And now three years later FINALLY it is happening!
I’ve scheduled movers, we’re cancelling utilities, we’re rescheduling utilities…it’s all crazy right now. In a good way.
One thing though is that our landlord is trying to sell the house we’re in right now, and I just feel bad for the house being so crazy while people are trying to look at it to buy. But with a 4-month old and two of us working, there’s really only so much we can do. I guess just do our best, eh?
I’m also itching to take another international trip sometime soon. Probably not too soon, as I’m out of vacation for the year, but I think it would be cool at the beginning of January to go either Paris or Haifa again. I love both of those places, and now there are babies in both places for Navab to play with (shoutouts to Dante and Kamyar)! We’d only be able to be there for a couple of days in either place, but wouldn’t that be fun?
Milestones (cliche blog entry title of the week)
I’m going into a carb coma right now from a delicious meal my husband just made for me. Well, honestly, it’s a little easier to fall into this coma because of my 4:30am wake up poke (kick in the belly) from Navab. Probably 3 times since she was about 2 weeks old she’s woken up when it’s still dark outside and is ready to play. Really, that’s too early for playing. I’m barely consuming any caffeine at all, so I have no idea what’s up with her. I think it’s just HER BEING A BABY.
We’re also pretty sure she’s teething. Massive drool. Lots of stuffing her hands in her mouth. Sometimes she’ll actually stop consuming milk in order to shove a hand in her mouth. One of the people at the daycare we send her to (we started that…maybe I’ll blog about it another time) asked me if she takes a pacifier. She doesn’t really tolerate pacifiers often, and we only resort to them in desperate circumstances, but really…I don’t like the idea of what they stand for (namely: me), so I think it’s great if she wants to suck on her hands. We’ll just sanitize them more often.
As for the rest of the week, Wednesday is Myk and my anniversary. Three beautiful years! It’s as if each year something major happened: first year–newlyweds, second year–move to Texas, third year–procreation. So what’s next? Home ownership. More later!
My new favorite topic: breastmilk
What I’ve noticed about myself since I’ve become a mom is how my interests have shifted and changed. Case in point: I’ll pretty much talk with anyone about breastfeeding or breastmilk. I actually think it’s funny now when people shy away from the topic or try to change it really quickly, because to me, that’s silly (and my secret is that I really enjoy it when people feel uncomfortable talking about it). I believe our cultural taboo (as Americans) against breastmilk is simply because howevermany years ago, formula companies decided they wanted to make a bajillion dollars and somehow convinced society that their stuff was better than our stuff. Silly, eh?
So I was in the airport on Sunday and met this dude with an 11 week old baby (baby not present). He kept telling me about this amaaaaaazing formula that they were using. Their friend, who is a scientist, told them about how great this stuff was and how it’s the “closest thing to breastmilk.” And he was totally trying to sell me on this stuff, which is also hilarious to me…because I feed my baby breastmilk. Hahaha. So funny.
I’ve been able to keep up with Navab so far, but really not by much. I produce EXACTLY how much she requires. It’s kind of crazy how biology is like that. And you know, it wouldn’t be terrible or anything if I fed her formula, but if she can get the real thing, why substitute, you know? And also, I don’t want to feel like I’m giving into The Man.
It’s been challenging trying to keep up with her needs while back at work. I’ve been back for about a month now and have to take breaks 3 times a day, 20 minutes at a time to pump. I really don’t mind, but because I’m not there to feed her, if her demand goes up (which it is) I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up. Under those circumstances, supplementing with formula is okay. Not ideal for us, but okay.
I’m certainly not against people who choose not to breastfeed because everyone has circumstances (some women can’t, some people adopt, etc). That being said, it’s given me an amazing amount of joy and pride to feed Navab. I feel closer with her, literally and figuratively. It’s been incredible to provide this service to her. So if I talk with you about breastfeeding, it’s just because I’m enthusiastic about this new role.
July
Because so much has happened, I present you with a list!
- We are in the process of buying a house. It’s humbling having strangers look over your personal finances so closely. But we are supposed to be closing on Thursday (!!) which may or may not happen, and then move into our new 3br townhome mid-Aug. SO AWESOME!!
- Navab (now 14 weeks) can hold her head up now, no sweat. And she’s rolling on her side. So, you know, it’s only a matter of time before she’s asking for the car keys.
- I let my domain name expire by accident. I missed about a week’s worth of email and I also really missed blogging. I also had no idea how much my family relied on my links to get to flickr. Family, use bookmarks or Google Reader or something!
- I saw The Dark Knight and have been thinking about its brilliance ever since.
- Myk turned twenty-twelve.
And there were plenty of other things, too. Now, I must work, but I’ll just mention that this is Navab’s last week at home with Daddy, and next week she’ll be going to day care (which is actually a Montessori school when she gets a bit older). Wow! The summer just flew by.
Misc. Parenting Update
Who knows if this is becoming a “mommy blog” or not. I prefer to think that it’s still just my blog. Anyways…
I wanted to document what’s been happening. I laugh at my pre-baby self and my preconceived notions of how it would be. Haha self! Okay really it’s not all that different but I still wanted to update for the sake of updating.
- We’ve had success with a combination of crib and co-sleeping. As in, the baby is in the crib when she first falls asleep for her “long time” (as I like to call it…it goes for 2-3 hours…yes that’s the longest she sleeps still) and then moves over to our bed when she wakes up to eat.
- I like co-sleeping, but I also miss sleeping without a baby nestled under my arm. Oh well.
- I’ve told others this, but learning to nurse while laying down has seriously saved my life.
- We have failed at cloth diapering. Sad but true. Maybe we’ll give it another try later. If a big box of Fuzzibunz landed on my lap, though, I’d certainly not let them go to waste.
- I am so in love with my sling I want to wear it to bed. Okay maybe not, but now that we can kangaroo carry, I feel like we have even more flexibility with what we can and can’t do with baby. I cannot express to you the pure bliss it is when your baby falls deeply asleep on your chest when you are out and about. And the comments people (strangers) make about the sling have cracked me up. My favorite was this lady in JCPenney who said in her thick Texas accent (and I will add that she was wearing no fewer than 3 crosses on her person), “You look so…NATURAL!” Haha! Oh man.
- She hates the car seat. Thus, I hate the car seat (screaming baby + enclosed space = crazy parent). No road trips for us anytime soon.
And now it’s time for bed!