I won't pretend this last year wasn't a hard one, or that my birthday is bowling me over with rewards and fullfillment. But the thing about that is that that's not life anyway. Life is making the most of what you have. Trusting it all. I won't lie and say that I've been any good at that lately either. Matter of fact, I suck at this game lately. But even this rough patch of hard thoughts and realizations and grappling will get me somewhere.
On a sunnier note - I wanted to share the best reflections on life as we don't always know it I've read in a long time. From the Curbside Prophecies of Jason Mraz:
The subconscious knows it will have the last word in the final round of play and allows the explorer to just be and do and make new rules for combat and make a million mistakes and so on. The adventurist is almost aware of this protagonist subconscious but not really, for the sub-character lies deeper in the grass than one would think. Like a snake the subconscious waits patiently and silently observing the surroundings until it’s safe to make a move. And when a move is made it’s nothing short of a magical moment. Fire is magic. A room painted a new color is magic. A vacation is magic. Avocados are magic. Music is magic. Friends are magic. The memory is magic. And so the adventurer realizes all is magic and he finds the will to continue his efforts and let whatever happens, continue to happen. This is how he stays so happy and motivated and free of fear to accomplish so much or so little depending on his desires. And with love, he’s in love with becoming what he’s becoming. He understands the subconscious will eventually perform a magic trick that will lead him to his life partner and an entirely new adventure will reveal itself. Until then he writes with wide hope and a loose wrist and paints with the fury of misfortune and sings from a collective sadness and sarcasm about what he thinks is true to date. He is aware of only what he is aware of and he is calm and comfortable with his settlement. This is just the way it’s supposed to be right now. (8.24.04)
But seriously, why do birthdays make me so reflective? It's kind of annoying.
Posted by Abby at August 28, 2004 01:56 PMDude, as I sit down to read this I'm listening to Mraz and for some reason getting teary. I'm finding myself a whole lot reflective lately, for no reason what so ever. Um, anyway, I love you and I miss you and you're the best and Happy Birthday (did you get my msg?)
Dooptastica
Posted by: Dooptastica at August 29, 2004 10:35 PMyes. I believe you called somewhere between my running up and down the stairs trying to fix one of the many circuit breaker adventures we've been having in the last two days.
Thank you.
I think it's the perverbial end of summer. In our culture it means so much change. Especially in these years of our lives that are just passing us by. I'm just lucky that my birthday lands right in the midst of all that jazz.
happy birthdayyyy! ;-D
Posted by: Sholeh at August 30, 2004 05:07 PMTwo things. One, happy birthday, Abby! Love ya! Two, birthdays make me reflective, too -- and depressed. It's really too bad because I've wasted a lot of birthdays just feeling sad. But I can't seem to control it. It's like my mind is genetically engineered to be sad on or about December 2.
Posted by: +mojan. at September 1, 2004 11:32 AM